The advisory board for Law.com's Minds Over Matters reporting project brings a singular perspective on mental health and well-being in the legal industry. From learning from personal experiences to research-driven analysis of the issues, the board's members are all dedicated to solving issues that impact the legal industry at rates higher than most other professions. Below, you will meet our esteemed board members, who will help guide us through this project, and hear in their own words what is motivating them to effect change.

Miriam Beezy

My beloved 31-year-old son Benjamin killed himself last June. Our family and all of his many friends and colleagues were shocked. I am still in shock. My son was a lawyer practicing in civil litigation. Ben was a star in everything he did, but he couldn't see it or feel it due to his depression. He was scholarly, athletic, kind, friendly with a ready smile, handsome, wholesome and a hard worker, working on cases up until the end.

Miriam Beezy

Ben's clinical depression and the stigma our society and profession has created around this disease made him highly resistant to getting the help he needed. Ben was not isolated. He traveled. He had a wide network of friends. He had a loving family. He was embedded in a community, but he hid his depression, suicidal thoughts and plans from everyone even when asked directly. So strong was his shame and embarrassment, his vulnerability, he denied and deflected every question. Ben felt the sting of stigma. He never wanted to speak about what was truly inside of him. He wanted to be strong and brave.

My husband and I only discovered Ben's terrible dilemma in his private journal on his computer after he died:

"Sometimes, I feel like reaching out to others and telling them everything, but then I will just feel ashamed or risk people's confidence in me. Perhaps I would have some immediate relief, but I would jeopardize my ability to get jobs and people would know these vulnerabilities about me and I would feel weak forever. I see myself reaching toward so many faces and arms, but I sink farther and farther down. It is a total descent into the deep. Help me."

This potentially lethal vulnerability, combined with a society and profession that have yet to fully destigmatize depression, mental illness and treatment, led Ben deeper and deeper into the abyss, undetected, while working diligently. A perfect storm with a tragic ending. We must stop this.

I have been practicing law for over 30 years and now dedicate my efforts to opening the eyes of the legal community to the effects of the stigma that permeate mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, hidden suicidality, illness. In joining the ALM Mental Health Advisory Board, I want to destigmatize and normalize the discussion surrounding mental vulnerability and health and the need to respect and encourage treatment while working. I do this in honor of my son Ben, his legacy and our future.

John Hollway

John Hollway

Since starting the Quattrone Center for the Fair Administration of Justice at the University of Pennsylvania Law School in 2013, I've worked with criminal justice professionals, including prosecutors and defense attorneys, who struggle to cope not just with the often traumatic subject matter in their cases, but the overwhelming caseload and expectations of perfection that exist in the criminal justice system, and counsel them on how to live with and learn from cases where they may have made a mistake that led to a wrongful conviction. In addition, I see our law students struggle with the pressures of that environment—pressures that mirror the unacceptably high rates of depression, anxiety, substance abuse and even suicide that we know are plaguing our industry at even greater rates than the population at large.

In 2018, I received a Masters in Applied Positive Psychology from Penn, and since that time I have been designing programs for law students, practicing lawyers and firms that provide actionable steps that each of us can use to thrive and improve our engagement with the law.

I want every law student and lawyer to have the tools to design and manage our lives and flourish in the ways that are important to us. When we do so, we have more energy to take care of the people that are important to us—our clients and our families—and when life throws us curveballs, we can react more productively and bounce back faster.

I am excited to work with ALM to bring scientifically validated tools, which have been shown to have positive psychological and physical health benefits, to a larger population. I am hopeful we can help lawyers in need of assistance and provide tools that will prevent negative mental and behavioral health outcomes for all of our colleagues.

Joanna Litt

My name is Joanna Litt. I'm 41 years old, I haven't practiced law in quite some time, and I have no professional mental health training. I was asked to be a member of the ALM Mental Health Advisory Board because my husband, Gabriel MacConaill, a junior partner at Sidley Austin, killed himself last October 2018. Shortly after, The American Lawyer published an open letter I wrote about our tragedy.

Joanna Litt

The response I received from friends, colleagues and complete strangers was overwhelming. I read hundreds of personal and intimate stories, but what resonated the most was that there was a bit of Gabe in all of them. And this is frightening, because everyone who knew Gabe would tell you he was the last person they thought would do this. So when pushed to the breaking point from the exhaustion of work, the constant accessibility and the pressure to do more and be better—it's impossible to know who will make it out and who won't.

Finding myself thrust into this new reality, I've realized the shameful stigma surrounding mental health and suicide is pervasive in the legal community, and what little dialogue there is about it is archaic. This has to change. We are failing as a profession when we no longer see individuals as human beings with emotions and frailties—and just as attorneys. So what was once a great love story has now become a cautionary tale. And although difficult to share, I will continue to do so to preserve Gabe's legacy and with the sincere hope that I can, in some small way, effectuate the change we desperately need.

Mark Goldstein

In late 2017, I took an 11-week leave of absence from my firm, Reed Smith, due to severe depression, obsessive compulsive disorder and generalized anxiety. The weeks preceding my leave—before I came to the realization that I needed time away—were largely consumed by mentally crippling ruminations and cognitions. Large chunks of my days were spent on the couch in Reed Smith's wellness room (which I would slip into only once I was certain that nobody was around).

Mark S. Goldstein of Reed Smith

When I could, on occasion, muster the courage to be in my office, I would frequently scour the internet for resources to help attorneys struggling with mental health disorders. Sadly, there wasn't much. I do, however, remember one article in particular authored by a recruiter. According to the article, if an attorney is feeling "burnt out"—that's the nondescript term our industry likes to use for these sorts of things—(s)he should not tell his/her firm, as it would most certainly impede the attorney's career prospects. This was discouraging to say the least. In fact, the article dissuaded me from speaking up for at least several weeks.

I'm joining this advisory board, therefore, to ensure that there are comprehensive, supportive resources available to any attorney struggling like I was (or to anyone who knows someone who is struggling). I'm joining because no attorney should feel as though they would be better off struggling alone and in silence, concealing their inner turmoil. I'm joining because shedding the stigma associated with mental health conditions—particularly in our industry, which has such a disproportionately high rate of depression, suicide, alcohol abuse and various other illnesses—requires a collaborative, collective effort, spanning all shapes and forms of legal employment. I'm joining, in short, to help the next Mark Goldstein.

Lisa Smith

Lisa Smith, deputy executive director of Patterson Belknap Webb & Tyler, and author of Girl Walks Out of a Bar, a memoir about her struggle with addiction and recovery.

I became a nightly drinker as a first-year associate at a big firm. It was the first step in a more than 10-year downward spiral into alcoholism and drug addiction. In my fifth-year, my drinking became incompatible with the increased responsibilities of a more senior associate, so I switched over to the administrative side of the firm. Throughout my decline, at each firm where I worked, I got great performance reviews. After all, I still got my work done. What could be wrong?

I lived with so-called "high-functioning" alcoholism, which meant isolation, shame and fear on a daily basis. When I finally asked for help and got sober in 2004, I was terrified my law firm would find out. I feared being viewed as weak and unreliable. I didn't take full advantage of the help that was offered me because I feared stigma.

I have been incredibly fortunate in my recovery. During a five-day detox, I learned I had been self-medicating major depressive disorder with drugs and alcohol. I was able to get on anti-depressants to address it, which to this day I take as one key element of recovery.

I'm joining this advisory board to let those who are out there suffering and in fear know they are not alone. I wrote "Girl Walks Out of a Bar" to help smash the stigma around these diseases. We do recover and succeed. I am proud to say that the response to my story, including from the very people I feared would judge me, has been overwhelming in acceptance and support. We all know someone who suffers. We all want to help each other. Now is the time to take action.

Steven Wall

As a recovering alcoholic and 36-year practicing attorney in a large corporate law firm, I have experienced personally the dysfunction of using alcohol to relieve the stresses of my professional life, first as an associate, then as a partner and finally as a law firm leader.

Steven Wall, Morgan Lewis

I am encouraged by the legal profession's recent focus on drug and alcohol abuse and addiction in the profession and on concepts of wellness generally. But I experienced first-hand the self-induced shame that comes with knowing that one's alcoholic and addictive behaviors are inconsistent with the perception of a trusted adviser and legal counselor to one's clients, and being unable to stop through my own willpower my progression to alcoholism. To maintain the fiction of an elite, strong, confident counselor, lawyers suffering from addiction sacrifice honesty and intimacy in relationships both professional and personal in a effort to hide their disease and the dysfunction that comes with it. "Functional alcoholics" survive by leading a life of dishonesty and loneliness. The illness and fear of "being found out" prevents the attorney addict from seeking the help that he or she needs.

By participating as a member of this board and being open about my recovery and life as a recovering alcoholic in Big Law, I hope to shed a bright light on the causes of and solutions to the addiction in our profession. By sharing my own experience, I am hopeful that others who, like me, struggled to cope in a healthy way with the pressures of the practice of law will seek help and embark upon a healthy and successful professional and personal life devoid of the dysfunction that affects all active addicts and those close to them.

Joseph Milowic

Is it possible to suffer from mental illness and still be an excellent lawyer? The answer is a resounding "yes."

Joseph Milowic, partner at Quinn Emanuel. Photo: David Handschuh/NYLJ

There are top attorneys around the world who suffer, in silence, with mental health issues all while handling some of most important and sensitive matters for their clients. Why then are they silent? Perhaps they fear being seen as less competent, perhaps they fear that others will not understand what it means to struggle with a mental health issue and it will tarnish their well-earned reputations, or perhaps they simply don't want to be stigmatized. While we've made enormous strides in this area, unfortunately mental illness still carries a perceived stigma.

 We need to talk about this.

The very fact that these people exist substantiates that dealing with a mental health issue does not equate to diminished competency or less effective counsel. Indeed, Abraham Lincoln suffered from depression and he was, arguably, one of the most competent leaders in history, very capable of sound reasoning and making major decisions.

Interestingly, the perceived stigma around mental health in the legal profession has been contrary to my experience. When I disclosed my struggles with depression, I was overwhelmed with support and love from colleagues, members of the bar and clients alike. Clients reached out and told me they were proud to have me working on their matters.

As a board member, I intend to send a familiar message to the Bar: "There is nothing to fear but fear itself." Rather than be guided by fear, let's do what we value and choose compassion as our guide as we shine light on these issues and the importance of taking care of our mental health.

Brian Cuban

Brian Cuban

I am excited to be a part of this advisory board. Breaking the stigma surrounding addiction and eating disorders has been something I have been intimately involved with for over a decade. I am in recovery from alcohol and drug addiction as well as bulimia. I am a graduate of the University of Pittsburgh School of Law and licensed in Texas. Having worked in both the solo and law firm environment, I have an intimate understanding of the mental health issues facing the legal profession and our generalized fear of dealing with them.   

In my experience, moving beyond systemic issues, I have found that lawyers tend to have a very difficult time allowing themselves to experience the vulnerability needed to face these issues when either we are struggling or we are faced with a difficult decision on whether to reach out to someone else. I hope that by providing the insight I have gained over the years in sharing my experience, strength and hope, I can play a small part in breaking through the stereotypes and stigma pervasive in our profession.

Patrick Krill

Patrick Krill

For the last decade, my career has been dedicated to helping the legal profession chart a different and better course related to mental health, addiction and personal well-being. First as the director of a treatment program for attorneys, judges and law students at the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation, and now as an adviser to large law firms and corporate legal departments through my own consulting firm, my sole focus has been trying to help the profession—and its members—get to a better, healthier and ultimately more rewarding and sustainable place. Participation on ALM's Mental Health Advisory Board feels like a natural and important extension of that work. I am gratified and honored to join my colleagues on this board and to lend my voice and perspective to this very worthwhile effort.

In recent years, various research initiatives that I and others have led have given the profession its clearest and most current understanding of the behavioral health challenges we face, and those challenges are indeed significant. The good news is that the profession is responding, with what feels to me like the bursting forth of a previously untapped desire to finally acknowledge that many among us are struggling, and to begin acting upon the problems. As a prime example, more than 100 organizations have recently signed on to the ABA Well-Being Pledge, which is a framework for organizational change that I developed to provide legal employers with concrete guidance on reducing mental health distress and problematic substance use.

This board is being launched at an exciting time, as stakeholders from across the profession are finally saying they are ready and willing to explore and embark upon the path to cultural change. Without question, that path will be winding and at times obscured by our own deeply embedded attitudes, beliefs, norms and behaviors. Through concerted efforts and an ongoing willingness to self-examine, however, I am confident we will move closer to our collective potential.

Domenic Cervoni

Not long ago, it became painfully obvious to me how vital our health is. My wife was crippled by rare disease and robbed of many of life's simple pleasures such as sleeping, the ability to taste food, sitting or walking without feeling extreme pain and discomfort, even the ability to painlessly feed our young children. Thankfully, given her tenacious grit and Memorial Sloan Kettering's expert medical care, she is much healthier today and thriving. Still, her suffering left an indelible impact on me. I embarked on a wellness journey, implementing fairly strict exercise and eating regimes, learning about the biology and psychology that drives human behavior and peak performance, and incorporating the practice of gratitude, empathy, and perspective in my daily life. Vowing that my wife's suffering would not be in vain, I documented our journey in a book called From Tragedy to Triumph.

Around the same time, the ABA report on attorney well-being was published and it struck a nerve. I instantly felt connected to this mission and vowed to do my part in championing this noble effort. I volunteered to present a CLE called Strive to Thrive: Why Healthy Lawyers are Good for Business. I read Mark Goldstein's article in The American Lawyer, and connected with him immediately.

In my opinion, there is nothing more important than our health and overall well-being. For too long, this issue has been ignored by the legal profession and I'm hoping to contribute whatever I can to change the narrative, if for no other reason than because it's the right thing to do. And, as Marcus Aurelius (Roman emperor and stoic philosopher) once said "Just that you do the right thing. The rest doesn't matter…" Domenic Cervoni is vice president and senior legal counsel in the U.S. litigation and regulatory enforcement group of HSBC North America.

Stephanie Mitchell Hughes

Stephanie is an attorney, consultant, writer and speaker on issues of resiliency and living with depression. She brings to the board her perspective as a government attorney, sole practitioner, single mom and much more. She has written on her own struggles and highlighted issues surrounding mental health that dig into topics that may not be readily apparent.