As we continue our discussion on people in the context of the health, wellbeing and the talent wars, we focus on one aspect of leadership which has become particularly important and challenging — mentoring.

A renowned English law professor used to say about "split infinitives" that students don't know what they are and don't care, while professors do know what they are and do care. Mentoring is a bit like that; the perspective varies depending who you ask. Quite often, law firm leaders believe they care sufficiently about it and do it right, while their mentees think they don't care about it enough, or do it effectively. And it's not just associates who care about law firm mentoring programs. Just as the client community looks at pro bono and diversity programs, they are starting to take an active interest in mentoring and succession planning. These were previously the private business of law firms, but now clients want to know what happens behind closed doors. Maybe it's time for a wakeup call.

It's not like law firms don't have a mentoring program in place, most do. But making it effective is a whole other issue. What we're hearing from associates is that it's either not happening or it's ineffective. Why? Because too often mentors are just dialing it in, focusing on the wrong things, or not showing up the right way. Mentoring isn't a task, or a box to tick. It's an imperative, a privilege, and an opportunity to build long-lasting bonds.

It's one thing to have attorneys agree to have someone tail them when they're negotiating, in court, or at client meetings. Many attorneys enjoy the opportunity to do some "grandstanding" in front of an impressionable young associate. It's quite another thing to get them to arrange a structured program, and to deliver it right. Effective mentoring isn't "be awesome like me and you'll earn the big bucks," it's "let me help you be the best version of you, and have a fulfilling career."

"When we are remote from our colleagues, continuing to mentor or continuing to teach is difficult," says competitive intelligence professional Patricia Ellard. "But without investment in our teams, our departments cannot continue to function effectively. Like everything, we need to be more intentional about how we communicate and not let the tendency of urgent overtake the need for skills development."

As we often say in Lean Law, every challenge provides an opportunity to rethink old methods. As we've seen from other lessons, communication and transparency are central themes, and so, even though it may seem stilted, it doesn't have to be that way. Take remote mentoring by video call, for example. It may seem impersonal, but there is no large wooden desk, no imposing meeting room — no barrier. It's just two lawyers, each in their own homes, complete with unavoidable interruptions from partners, children and pets. This offers the chance to open up a little bit. Shared experience is always a great ice breaker.

For many senior attorneys, mentoring is yet another untaught skill, right up there with management, motivation, delegation, coaching and a host of other key leadership skills for which most have received no training. So here's our tip list for law firms and mentors:

• Recognize that mentoring is an untaught skill which improves with commitment, practice and self-reflection.
• Remember that "emotional intelligence" is a key component to being a good mentor, so try to be your best, most authentic self.
• Make the program about the mentee, for the mentee.
  • One size does not fit all, so don't roll out the standard program.
  • Instead, plan the mentoring with the mentee.
• Make sure you really show up and that the associate recognizes it.
• Remember that leaders are perceived by associates as role models, so try to be the visible manifestation of the culture of the firm.
• Don't just make mentoring appointments, make them meaningful; don't just dial in but really turn up, and treat mentoring as an opportunity to:
  • demonstrate best practices for working, remote and in-office
  • develop personal rapport and trust
  • assess wellbeing, and try to understand how the associate is coping
  • sense anxiety and try to build resilience
  • discuss client and firm news, and encourage contributions
  • inspire people to develop into the best version of themselves