The ladies at my table were uppity this year. Sipping an endless flow of rosé, we made a pact under the flower-bedecked tent: We will no longer be shamed.

It was the annual Central Park Women's Committee hat luncheon last week—that high society event where ladies of means don elaborate, sometimes outrageous, hats to raise money for the park's conservancy. Though women with serious careers have infiltrated the luncheon for years, it's still regarded as a frivolous, girly event—which is why some have felt a bit sheepish about attending (and enjoying) it.

“Women are conscious of perceptions,” says former lawyer Valerie Bruce, who's now a senior vice president at BBC International. “Attending a non-work related luncheon conjures feelings of guilt—even if for a good cause.”