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What's the deal? Do they want it or not?

First, we were told that they're different from their fathers, that they want to be hands-on parents and that management better get on the stick.

And, by golly, they got their wish: Big Law and other elite professions started offering paid paternity leaves that would have been unthinkable just a few years ago. Though some firms only offer a meager two weeks of paid leave for “secondary caregivers,” others are offering 10 weeks, 18 weeks or whatever your heart desires.

So are battalions of men now marching off to care for their babies months at a time with nary a thought about what's happening in the office? Well, that's what they keep saying. Ask most firms about paternity leave and they will tell you, “It's not a big deal here. All our lawyers take their full leave—and without stigma!”—as if we're living in the new age of gender enlightenment. The party line is that paternity leave is wildly popular and used.

Maybe it's popular. But how many men take leave, particularly if it's more than a week or two?

Recent statistics suggest men aren't jumping on the paternity leave wagon with enthusiasm. Here's the news coming out of the U.K.: Less than one in three (31%) new fathers take paternity leave, reports The Independent, based on data from HMRC [Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs], collected by British law firm EMW Law.

More troubling is that the rate of paternity leave has been falling for four years in a row (it was 34% in 2014-15).

Arguably, the sexes are regressing. In contrast to the paternity leave trend, more women are taking maternity leave than in the past—almost a 5% increase in the last four years. “The gap between men and women taking time off for the birth of a child is actually widening,” Jon Taylor, a principal at EMW, told The Independent. “It is worrying that the number has not moved in the last six years despite all the encouragement for men to take more paternity leave. That combined with the relatively low take up of shared parental leave calls into question whether 'family friendly' policies are really working.”

And what happens when men do take leave? Well, they become less enthusiastic about having more kids. In a study that looked at parental leave in Spain, the big reveal was that men who took paternity leave wanted fewer children, reports The Guardian. Moreover, “the introduction of paid paternity leave has led to delays in fertility for eligible Spanish couples, with many waiting longer to have additional children.”

Why did paternity leave diminish men's appetite for more kiddies? The Spanish researchers offered some possible explanations: Perhaps it's because the dads value spending more time with the child they're caring for. “Or it could also be that dads are learning about how hard it is to take care of a child, and this new information is affecting their preferences for how many children they want to have in total.”

So staying home for an extended period of time to change diapers, clean up puke and cater to a fussy child isn't what it's cracked up to be? Ha!

And if you have any doubts that men aren't really into the domestic grind, let me remind you that studies consistently show that men are still not doing their share on the home front. According to an American Bar Association and ALM Legal Intelligence survey of 1,300 lawyers at the nation's 350 largest firms, women are bearing the lion's share of responsibilities at home. (And it's not just female lawyers. Research by LeanIn.org and McKinsey & Co. found that senior female managers are seven times more likely than men to perform home duties.)

I'm not quite sure what this all means, but it seems to suggests (again) that men aren't quite as woke and evolved as we had hoped they'd be at this point in human evolution.

But tell me if I'm drawing the wrong conclusion.