Editor's note: This is the second in a two-part series on creating positive changes to your life out of the stress of the coronavirus pandemic.

In the first of this two-part series, we examined the idea of turning coronavirus-related stress into post-traumatic growth. Now, we explore three things you can do to healthily process your coronavirus stress and catalyze psychological growth over the course of the pandemic.

1. Fully feel the stress 

During traumatic events, there can be a temptation to deny, suppress or ignore the stress and difficult emotions that are flowing. However, the research shows that people who allow themselves to "fully feel" their difficult emotions during the traumatic event are much more likely to experience post-traumatic growth (PTG). People who cope with the stress or emotional pain by numbing or suppressing the emotions are far more likely to remain stuck in stress after the traumatic event passes.

In another article, psychologist Richard Tedeschi (one of the founders of the "post-traumatic growth" doctrine) emphasized the importance of fully experiencing the difficult emotions, rather than rushing to the growth phase: "To move toward PTG, you have to go through a phase of intense reflection. A person has to get through the emotional pain following a serious injury or trauma, a phase that is necessary." Dr. Tedeschi explained that only when a person openly processes the fear, sense of loss and anger can the person "begin to let in opportunities for change and growth."

In studying trauma after 9-11, Dr. David Spiegel, the associate chair of psychiatry and behavioral sciences and the director of the Center on Stress and Health at Stanford University, found that having participants simply fill out questionnaires about their anxiety and fears, as well as openly express their difficult emotions to trusted friends or family who did not judge them for those feelings, was helpful to the process of coping with the emotions and advancing the likelihood of PTG over time. "Rejecting the notion of 'I need to be strong' and instead openly acknowledging the feelings and really letting them flow through you is so important to the process," Dr. Spiegel remarked.

If we try to short-circuit the process by leaping to growth, rather than allowing ourselves to feel the stress, anxiety and pain that needs to be felt, we impair the likelihood of eventually experiencing growth.

So every couple days, you may want to do a 3-minute journaling exercise, in which you allow your emotions and feelings to just flow onto the page. An effective practice is "stream of consciousness" journaling, where you set a timer to a designated time (whether three minutes, five minutes, or any amount of time that feels right to you), and just "unload" your raw emotions onto the page. The key is to not second guess, intellectualize or censure anything that comes out, and to just viscerally release whatever fear, anxiety, sadness, anger, sense of injustice or confusion that is circulating within you. Unlike the well-constructed legal documents you so brilliantly draft, this expression should be impulsive, non-linear and erratic.

Another technique you can use to "fully feel" your stress and difficult emotions is to have a five minute "emotional release" conversation with a trusted friend or family member every few days. The key here is to focus on labeling and expressing the emotions you are feeling in as much detail as possible, e.g., "I feel so scared inside and my stomach is turning because I don't want to get sick, and I feel overwhelmed and anxious because the pandemic may have a devastating effect on my career and I don't know if my career will be able to recover!" It's important not to veer off into gossip, intellectual analysis or solutionizing of the emotions when doing this; the purpose is to allow your raw emotions to be felt and heard—not to make them go away. Again, each person can put a few minutes on the clock, and freely express throughout that window. After one person expresses, the other person can give a 30-second summary of the emotional expression they just heard. This sort of expression can also be done in a more organic way, if you prefer, by transparently sharing your feelings with others when they ask how you are doing. It does not have to be done in a structured conversation, as long as you openly label and acknowledge the most difficult emotions you are feeling.

If you allow yourself to "fully feel" your emotions a few times each week for several weeks or months, you will be planting the seed for transformation later in the process. Paradoxically, this may increase your perceived stress and perceived difficult emotions in the short-term, but will also make you far more likely to experience PTG over the course of the process.

2. Take solace in the PTG doctrine

Now that you know about the PTG doctrine, you can use this knowledge as a tool to manage the intense stress you are feeling in the short-term. In other words, when you feel intense stress during this pandemic, you can tell yourself the fact that you are feeling this stress is a major indicator that you can end up more psychologically healthy after the pandemic than you were before it. Think about this in the context of physical health. When we are in the middle of an intense work-out and our mind feels overwhelmed and wants to quit, we tell ourselves to continue struggling through it because it will lead to greater physical strength and health down the road. If we simply experienced the short-term physical discomfort of exercise without cognitively tethering it to the long-term benefits it will bring, the discomfort would probably be insurmountable. But it's the conscious awareness that the discomfort has a purpose—that it is leading to an eventual benefit—that makes the discomfort far more bearable.

As Martin Seligman, the father of Positive Psychology, explained in this article, if you are experiencing intense stress during a traumatic event and don't know about PTG, "it makes you think even more certainly that you're going under, which worsens the symptoms." But if "you have just a little bit of medical literacy" about PTG, "that stops the downward spiral." The knowledge of PTG, itself, acts as a buffer to the stress.

So regularly remind yourself of the PTG doctrine, and as you experience (and allow yourself to feel) intense stress and other difficult emotions, tell yourself that these intense emotions are temporary experiences that can lead to growth and greater emotional well- being in the long-run. The more you remind yourself of PTG, and the more you believe that the emotional discomfort you are experiencing is creating an opportunity for growth, the stronger and happier you will feel throughout this difficult time.

3. Gently search for new self-awareness and growth opportunities 

While we are in the midst of a traumatic event, like the coronavirus pandemic, our mind tends to default into resentment and victimhood about the situation. We unconsciously assume the event is only a burden to our life, and our psyche creates an adversarial relationship to the event. An important thing we can do to facilitate eventual PTG is to purposefully open to the possibility that we will grow and benefit from the event, and then to engage in exercises designed to begin seeing some opportunities for growth, re-prioritization or greater meaning in life.

Viktor Frankl, a holocaust survivor, psychiatrist and author of the landmark book Man's Search for Meaning, famously said, "when we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." Dr. Frankl had no ability to change the fact that he was stuck in a concentration camp, facing constant abuse, starvation and the prospect of death. So he focused on changing himself, and began self-reflecting on how he could grow as a person and find deeper meaning in his life. Rather than viewing his concentration camp imprisonment as solely a terrible thing, he also viewed it as a fundamental opportunity to grow and transform as a person. And he did exactly that, and arrived at a newfound appreciation for life, a deeper sense of meaning and an ever-present sense of love—which he carried for the rest of his life.

Can you look at this coronavirus pandemic as not only a terrible thing that is causing widespread sickness, death and anxiety, but also as an opportunity for you to engage in self-inspection and growth as a person? We have all been yanked out of our normal rigid life patterns, where we frantically bounce from one short-term deadline or responsibility to the next, with little time to pause, much less ponder who we are, why we are here, and how we truly want to live our lives. You are now being given the opportunity to step back from it all, and do an audit of your life, your priorities and your patterns.

Perhaps ask yourself questions such as:

• Is chasing success and achievement bringing me as much happiness as I thought it would
• What else can I prioritize when I re-enter my life that will make my life more meaningful?
• If I get sick and my life were truly in danger, would I be as stressed about my typical lawyer deadlines?
• What is a new pattern I can build with my family or friends during this quarantine that I can eventually bring into my 'normal life' when it resumes?
• What is an undesirable emotional pattern I can practice improving during the quarantine—e.g., do I tend to respond to aggression from others in my life with intense counter-aggression or by withdrawing from the relationship rather than communicating my feelings?
• What is a small change I can make to become a more unselfish person, or to help others in need?
• What is a passion or activity that I haven't found the time to do in the last couple years that would add joy to my life—and can I start finding the time to do it right now?
• Is expressing my emotional struggles or asking for help really a reflection of me being weak? Or is it a reflection of me being strong and courageous enough to show others my authentic self and true needs?
• How can I re-frame a reoccurring challenge I face in my life or career, e.g., how can I radically restructure how my mind responds to it the next time it arises?
• What is something I can do to connect more consistently to nature, to the universe or to God?
• What is an attachment I can let go of right now?
• Even though I have felt scared or overwhelmed at times during this pandemic, what have been some of my finest moments, and can I celebrate myself for those moments?
• When I look back at the mistakes I have made in my work in the last couple years, were they really as big of a deal as I feared at the time, and how can I approach my perfectionism going forward?
• What would my life be like if I didn't have as much resentment towards people who hold positions I dislike, including the opposite political party during this election year, and how can I find some common humanity with them?
• What is one of my personality traits I tend to judge myself for and feel shame over, and what if I just released the pressure to change this aspect of myself, and simply loved myself for who I am, including this trait?
• What are some major challenges and struggles I faced earlier in my life that helped me become the person I am today?
• How can I use the challenges I have overcome in life to help others who are currently facing those challenges in their lives?
• What is stopping me from becoming who I am truly meant to be?

By gently asking ourselves these sorts of questions during this challenging time, we can begin seeing areas of growth and begin shifting some of our perspectives on how we live our lives. The scientific research labels this process "meaning-making." It is the process by which we proactively open to personal growth opportunities over the course of a traumatic event, rather than simply stewing in the undesirability of the event. The research shows that gradually engaging in "meaning-making" over time is the single greatest predictor of PTG. "Through this process of utilizing the stressors and anxiety to engage in deep self-reflection that typically doesn't occur," explained Dr. Spiegel, "people are able to build altered views of life and new forms of meaning they didn't have before the event."

So as you navigate the intense stressors of this unprecedented event, we invite you to engage in this 3-part process: (1) fully feel your emotions; (2) regularly remind yourself that these difficult emotions are an indicator that you are in an optimal state for personal growth; and (3) gently search for new self-awareness and growth opportunities. Importantly, allow this three-part process to be cyclical, not linear. As you mindfully tap into each of these three phases each week, you may notice that one of these phases will resonate most at one time, and the next day or week another phase will resonate most. Then the opposite may be true the following week.

What the science tells us is that as you gradually and gently engage in each of these phases over and over in the coming months, you will be creating fertile soil to experience post-traumatic growth. And when this pandemic eventually passes, you may find yourself more joyful, more resilient and more fulfilled than you ever were before the pandemic. A better you and a better life awaits.

Jarrett Green and Rebecca Simon Green are stress resiliency, well-being, and peak performance consultants to the legal industry and to corporate America. They are a husband-and-wife team that consult to and lead workshops at many of the largest law firms and corporations in the world. Jarrett was previously a commercial litigator for 12 years, first at the international law firm of Skadden Arps and then at his own boutique litigation firm, and Rebecca was a full-time law professor. They are the co-creators of the USC Gould School of Law "Mindfulness, Stress Management, and Peak Performance Program."9