First the good news: What 67-year-old lawyer from Panama wouldn’t want to have Antonio Banderas—mainstay of multiple ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ lists—play you in a movie?

But apparently that’s cold comfort to Ramon Fonseca—not to mention his law partner Jurgen Mossack (rendered on the silver screen by Gary Oldman, who won an Academy Award last year for playing the decidedly un-sexy Winston Churchill).

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