It's 5 a.m. and the alarm clock goes off. This alarm is not your typical alarm. It's the wails of your infant son, deciding that now is when your day will begin. He was up just two hours ago, and two hours before that. But he is all smiles, and, as tired as you may be, his smile is all the (pre)morning motivation you need to start your long day as a career-focused, new mother … or is it?

I had my son in April 2017, after practicing law for eight years. I was fortunate. My firm is very family-oriented and offered me three months of maternity leave to spend with my little one. I had a plan: prepare an exit strategy for the handling of my workload while on maternity leave; stay informed to some extent; return happily to work; and expect the unexpected. I was so sure I knew how this was going to work, I even wrote an article about it! See Getting Ready to Become a Working Mother, (March 1, 2017). My firm and coworkers were supportive of my plan and encouraged me to take the time I needed to adjust to my new life as a mother.

As my maternity leave was coming to an end, I looked forward to getting back to work. At first, it was exciting to be back to my old routine. But the days and months that followed also brought on a wide range of emotions—from sadness to be away from my son to happiness (and relief) to engage in conversation with my colleagues without a mention of diapers. Things were a little different, however. For example, my eagerness to work on cases I left behind was rivaled with worry about leaving my son in daycare, and dampened by exhaustion from numerous sleepless nights. Each day I struggle with handling the mixed emotions caused by having to balance the fact that I am now entirely responsible for another human with maintaining my focus and progressing in a professional legal career. I “want it all,” but the so-called work/life balance isn't a “balance” at all. It's a constant imbalance, filled with incessantly changing and mutually exclusive priorities that I trick myself into believing I can balance.

The most challenging aspect of returning to work is readjusting the expectations I had for myself. Before, I took pride in being among the hardest workers I know, and I still do. I used to measure how hard I worked by how many motions I prepared, how many legal arguments I won and, ultimately, how many hours I billed. Now, I have created new measures that incorporate my goal to balance the demands of my new life, which includes my career plus a child at home. Sometimes, this means appreciating that while I arrived at work a little later in the morning, I already took my son to his pediatrician then prepared both him and I for our day apart. I may have billed an hour or two less than I'm used to on occasion, but I expanded my perspective, and I see that I can accomplish much more these days.

This continuing adjustment has been aided by my law firm and coworkers, who completely support my decision to become a working mother. The family-oriented atmosphere that appreciates and often emphasizes the importance of balancing work and family put me in a position where I can accomplish both my personal and professional goals. To that end, I offer the following suggestions to a career-driven parent to consider herself and to ask of her law firm when returning to work after maternity leave:

• Be honest about your limitations: It is no secret that having a child forces you to adjust your lifestyle. As an attorney, it also forces you to adjust the way you work. Making these adjustments begins with being honest with yourself about what that means for you. Does it mean changing your hours; reevaluating your workload; or putting your long-term career goals on hold for a bit? Does it mean reducing the amount of travel you do for your firm? These are considerations, among others, that I took into account in readjusting my home and work life. By being honest with myself and my firm about my limitations, I managed expectations about my work. It also enabled me to competently consider my next suggestion—flexible working options.
• Discuss more flexible working options with your firm: In most cases, the work of an attorney can be accomplished at any time, from any location (so long as there is a computer and WI-FI available). My firm has empowered me to take advantage of this reality by facilitating my working remotely and allowing me to adjust my working hours to manage the demands of my personal and professional life. This, of course, was only possible because all of my coworkers, from supervising partners to support staff, knew that I would get the work done—and done right. The bottom line, however, is always that these decisions are about the “bottom line.” Any flexible working options must be utilized in a way that works for you, the firm and your clients in achieving everyone's goals.
• Give yourself a break: It is challenging enough to find that delicate work/life balance when returning to work after having a child. Why put any additional pressure on yourself? While it may be a daunting and stressful time right now, it will get easier, and you will find your new “normal.” For every morning that starts too early, and every evening that ends too late, the satisfaction felt in achieving your goals makes it all worthwhile.

  The best advice I have received is to (try) to be practical. If I am honest about what I can and cannot do I will always find a way to make it through. Even the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step—so just keep putting one foot in front of the other as you keep the journey moving. Of course, a strong support system—a partner, family, friends and colleagues—is also important to effectively balancing a legal career and starting a new family. I am lucky and grateful to have the benefit of all of that in my life. By providing me with flexible working options and continued support, my firm enabled me to have—and is continuing to help me have—a smooth transition from maternity leave back to work. And that smile I get to see on my son's face each morning makes these difficult times in the work/life challenge all worth it.

Laura E. Eggnatz is an associate with Shapiro, Blasi, Wasserman & Hermann in Boca Raton, a litigation and transactional law firm. She focuses her practice on products liability and mass and toxic torts defense. Contact her at [email protected].