For years, the Atlanta Bar Association has encouraged its members to take an adversary to lunch at this time of year. The idea is to encourage civility and professionalism, but it also could be regarded as an exercise in business development.

Getting to know a lawyer you usually regard as an adversary makes it easier for the two of you to refer business to each other or suggest that others do so. All things being equal, most of us would rather do business with someone we like and who treats us with respect. I know some litigators and other lawyers believe being a jerk commands the respect of colleagues, but actually it just earns you a reputation of being hard to work with.

“Take Your Adversary to Lunch” takes place during February this year. Members who participate can enter a drawing for gift cards from the Buckhead Life Group restaurants. The top prize is two $200 gift cards, one for the Atlanta Bar member and one for the adversary. Members can submit up to five entries if they take that many adversaries to separate lunches.

Todd Poole hasn't won a gift card by taking an adversary to lunch, but he has built relationships. Poole, the founding member of the law firm Poole Huffman, remembers the first time he participated in the program. It was 2010, a year after he had founded the firm, and he was working hard to create his personal brand. He was involved in a contentious case and reached out to his adversary, who suggested dining at a country club where he was a member. Poole jokes that the country club was an aspirational destination for him at the time.

The lunch went well, with trust built on both sides. While it didn't immediately lead to a referral, he credits the rapport built during lunch with allowing the parties to come to a resolution. Later, he received a call from a client referred by opposing counsel. Poole says his lunch experience demonstrated that opportunities to build a relationship with an adversary can improve both the case and lead to business in the future. Since then, he's looked for opportunities to get to know more colleagues that he used to consider on the “other side.”

“We run into the same people time and again,” Poole says. “It's a small community when it boils down to it.” When there is a break in a deposition or before a court session begins, he often will chat with his adversary. The conversation could be about other cases or family life or Georgia football. “A lawyer can't in good conscience refer a client if they haven't spoken to me and gotten to know me,” he says.

Poole is ever alert for opportunities to promote his practice. He may mention that he does collections, one of his firm's niche practices and an area where many firms look for help.

Not that it's always “Kumbaya” between Poole and opposing counsel. “Look, we're not above getting frustrated with opposing counsel,” Poole says, but it has become easier for him to check himself. He may place a letter to opposing counsel in his desk for the night before, rereading it in the morning for tone. Given the pace of communications in a digital world, that is not always feasible. When it needs to be sent that day, he will ask a colleague to read the email or letter to make sure it strikes the right tone, which he defines as “professional.”

Don't underestimate what your reputation means in the legal community. Good character is its own reward, but it's also good for business.

Robin Hensley's column is based on her work as president of Raising the Bar and coaching lawyers in business development for more than 25 years. She is the author of “Raising the Bar: Legendary Rainmakers Share Their Business Development Secrets.”