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Samantha, a divorce lawyer, is 18 weeks pregnant with her second child and thinks she has turned a corner on so-called morning sickness. “I haven't thrown up since Sunday,” she tells  seven more-than-understanding women at the monthly lunch gathering of the “Working Moms” group of the Georgia Association of Women Lawyers.

At the request of the Daily Report, the women have agreed to discuss their views of how pregnancy and raising children have affected their careers. The newspaper's interest was piqued by a widely-read article by the New York Law Journal, a Daily Report affiliate, about how some women lawyers were paying thousands of dollars to have eggs and embryos frozen so they could choose to have children later in their careers. The Daily Report promised to use only the participants' first names so they would feel comfortable openly sharing details about family planning and other personal stories.

The women at lunch reported a wide range of experiences. Two said they were fired from legal jobs in the middle of their pregnancies. One of those said she had to leave the office frequently while going through in vitro fertilization, leading her employer to say she “didn't seem focused.”

On the other end of the spectrum, some women recalled receiving extremely supportive treatment during their pregnancies. One of those women noted that, despite her positive experience, a male colleague who took time off after his child was born was stigmatized as not working hard enough. Yet another woman said her husband, also a lawyer, took 12 weeks of paternity leave from his job without a problem.

The women concluded that firms that provide generous leave policies are smart to do so. “I was so grateful,” said Samantha, that as soon as she was back in the office, she worked extra hard, adding, “I wanted to make it up” to the firm.

None of the women considered freezing their eggs, although some women said they delayed childbearing through law school and early in their careers.

“I don't think I ever thought 'My career is going to delay this,'” said Jennifer, a bankruptcy lawyer. She added, however, that the classic 9-to-5 workday doesn't fit with her lawyering and parenting: “I don't know how you do it at a traditional firm.”

None of the eight women worked at big firms, although some had done so earlier in their careers. Elizabeth, an in-house counsel, used to be chief litigation counsel at her company but cut back her hours to spend more time with her children.

Asked how she—as a client—reacted when hearing one of her outside counsel would be out for parental leave, she said, “Bigger firms always have someone who they can plug in.”

She also recalled one of the best outside attorneys she worked with was the mother of triplets, remembering her as “very efficient.” Elizabeth also noted that working mothers shared similar nontraditional schedules, so that it wasn't a burden on either to set a phone call for after dinner and getting kids to sleep.

One woman, a forensic accountant, appreciated her husband being the primary caregiver in their family. But the group collectively groaned at how some onlookers view men performing any caregiving role as heroic and cheer them on with comments like, “What a good dad!” and “Good for you!”

Several participants noted tension between which parent will focus on their career while the other focuses on parenting duties. That conversation can be specific—such as whose plans can be postponed when a child gets sick and can't go to school—or which parent might stay home and raise children while the other advances in her career.

“We had to have that discussion,” said Kelly, an elder law attorney whose wife stays at home with their child.

The women were asked, “Has becoming a mother hurt your career?” All said no, most phrasing their explanations as choosing between working in law and working in parenthood.

“There's always a struggle between family and job,” said Ellen, who works at an agency that hires lawyers out on a contract basis.

She mused that women who don't work outside the home may have “less bargaining power” in discussions with career-focused husbands.

Samantha chimed in, “There tends to be a lack of respect” for stay-at-home moms in divorce cases. Yet she added, ”It's so much harder to be at home.”

“Women have always had to think about this,” Elizabeth said.