It's not 40 years on the bench or even turning 80 that has Judge Clarence Seeliger feeling ready to retire when his current term on the DeKalb County Superior Court ends on Dec. 31, 2020.

And it's not the murder cases, he said Friday morning just before returning to the bench to preside over yet another one of those.

"What gets to you is the custody cases," the judge told the Daily Report. "They can be really wearing."

And they've changed dramatically during his career in ways that make them harder for everyone, he said.

"It finally got to me," he added.

Seeliger announced this month that he will not seek another term in 2020 but will instead leave his seat open for others to run. The nonpartisan election will be held with the primaries May 19.

A Seattle native, Seeliger went to the University of Washington, where he earned a political science degree in 1963. He followed that with military service, earning the rank of captain. Then he moved to Atlanta to attend law school at Emory University, where he earned his J.D. in 1970.

He practiced privately for a decade. During that time, he saw a certain judge on the DeKalb State Court abuse one of his clients. The same judge had jailed Martin Luther King Jr. on a minor traffic violation a few years earlier and kept a Confederate flag displayed in his courtroom. In 1980, Seeliger ran for the judge's seat and won.

The first things Seeliger did were remove the Confederate flag and hire the first African American bailiff to serve that court. Four years later, he ran for and won a seat on the DeKalb County Superior Court.

Over the years, the judge proved to be a strong supporter of civil rights and justice for those who had been mistreated. He helped draft the law giving the first guidance for how to write a protective order for the safety of survivors of domestic violence. Former Gov. Zell Miller appointed him a member of the Georgia Commission on Family Violence. The Decatur-based Women's Resource Center to End Domestic Violence created a justice award with his name on it.

So when Seeliger talks about family law, it is with a depth of experience. He estimated that 45% of his caseload is family law. Criminal cases take up about half of his time. Civil cases—the ones that are "interesting, challenging" and "make us want to be a judge"—make up about 5%.

Those domestic cases—particularly the custody disputes—mirror the changes in the world around them, he said.

Custody cases 40 years ago involved married couples in the process of divorce, with lawyers on both sides. "It was easier," he said. "Now, 60% of domestic relations parties were never married."

Often the cases involve fathers seeking to legitimate their offspring, gain rights to visitation and even custody, he said. "The parties have not lived together. The child might have been [born] of a one-night stand. They don't have any loyalty to each other, but they are both responsible for this child," Seeliger said.

Most of the litigants in family cases can't afford an attorney and proceed pro se.

"It puts me in the situation of trying to act as a kind of a lawyer for both people, but I can't get directly involved," he said.

Lacking legal counsel, the parties have less restraint in their mutual desire to "castigate their partner," Seeliger said.

"Their idea of a courtroom is 'Judge Judy'—where people stand up and scream at each other," he said. "That doesn't help me."

The saving grace—if there is any in this situation—comes from mediators, who can sit down and explain "how important it would be for the parties to work it out," Seeliger said. And guardians ad litem are the heroes, volunteering their time to investigate and advocate for children, he said.

"Guardians ad litem help a great deal," Seeliger said. "Most of them are lawyers." (His go-to source is the DeKalb Volunteer Lawyers Foundation.)

Still, Seeliger admitted he will miss his job.

"I love being in the courtroom," he said. "I'm looking around for things to do."

He said he hopes to travel with his wife of 50 years, Gwen Hagler Seeliger. They have two daughters and three grandchildren.

He's looking into increasing his activities with Christ Episcopal Church, where he teaches Sunday School. He may pick up the pace on his three-times-a-week lap swimming. And he plans to offer his services as a senior judge.

"That's in the hands of the judges," he said. "If they need me, they'll call me."

When he announced his retirement plans, Seeliger said simply, "I have been honored to serve."