Pelvic Pain

When it comes to exercise, no pain equals no gain. But one New York City lawyer is suing his personal trainers after too much pain allegedly left him unable even to sit down normally. Neil Squillante says he told trainers at Focus Integrated Fitness—whose clients include pop superstar Beyoncé—that he “lived a sedentary life with minimal physical activity” when he first started training sessions there. The company's owners, Gabriel Valencia and Joe Masiello reportedly assured the attorney that they would design workouts geared towards his fitness level.

But after a few sessions, Squillante began to suffer from severe, persistent pain in his pelvis, according to his suit. This pain has continued, to the extent that he can no longer travel long distances, attend lengthy meetings or even sit at his computer. He is suing Focus for negligence and seeking unspecified damages.

Malicious Mower

A Mississippi man is suing the manufacturers of a riding lawnmower that allegedly cut much more than just grass. According to Everardo Garfias, who owns a lawn service company, he was riding the lawnmower when a swarm of yellow jackets began stinging him. Garfias' day got even worse when he allegedly jumped off the lawnmower to evade the insects—only to have it run him over.

Garfias says that the machine's blades severely cut his legs and completely severed one kneecap, leaving him unable to walk normally. He is suing Husqvarna Professional Products Inc., which made the mower, and Kawasaki Motors Corp. U.S.A., which manufactured its engine, claiming that a cut-off switch designed to shut down the motor if the rider leaves the seat failed.

Fan's Festival

Paul Reubens—better known as Pee-wee Herman—is no stranger to legal troubles. But this time Reubens isn't the one in legal hot water; in fact, he's the one threatening legal action against a fan who attempted to create a festival in his honor. Will Russell intended the Pee Wee Over Louisville festival as a celebration of the comic, complete with music and a Pee-wee-style danceoff.

But Reubens apparently didn't share Russell's enthusiasm, and sent him a cease-and-desist letter demanding that the Sept. 7 event be canceled. Russell complied with Reubens' request, but expressed his disappointment to the Louisville Courier-Journal. “Fans like me … really want an opportunity to step forward to be like, 'We like Pee-wee Herman. We think he's great,'” he said. “It's really disappointing we can't do that.”