What better way of shaking off the holiday funk as you emerge blinking and overindulged (or flu-ridden in my case) into 2011 than a good old-fashioned list piece? It's a timeless standby for those moments when you're not yet back into the swing of things and very little interesting has yet happened to write about.

But since I can't face the dreaded 'predictions for the year' format, instead I'm throwing down with five things law firms like to believe that are usually total cobblers:

"Unlike other firms, we don't shout about what we're doing"

This one scores very highly on the nonsense-ometer since virtually every large law firm shouts about what it does. True, many are very, very bad at it, meaning they shout about things of absolutely no interest to the vast majority of the profession let alone the man in the street. But, make no mistake, this is not for the want of shouting. Armies of PR and marketing staff are employed, oceans of press releases sent, events held and announcement made. Ironically, in many cases these manage to miss the actually interesting or novel in favour of the mundane, primarily because law firms are addicted to pushing out ego-stroking missives regarding deals to the exclusion of all else. But while common sense, judgement and realism may be in short supply, you can be sure that shouting is very much present and correct in Law Firm Land.

"We mainly compete against the magic circle"

This is a market distortion created by the fact that law is relatively fragmented with just a small handful of firms having achieved any real scale. This means that firms can be as likely to see Linklaters or Freshfields on the opposite side of the table as their true peer group, largely because these firms are everywhere. This leads many, many gullible firms to hugely over-estimate their market position. It's always sad to see.

"Clients don't instruct law firms because of legal directories"

In-house legal teams can at times understandably display a protectionist streak that manifests itself as hostility towards anything that could demystify the law. This goes double for any tool – such as a legal directory – which could conceivably be used by non-lawyers to instruct lawyers. But the plain fact is that, with the exception of a few industry sectors such as financial services, in-house legal teams tend to have pretty limited knowledge of law firms other than those they actually instruct. The idea that they don't use legal directories as some part of the process for markets and practices outside their core discipline is very hard to swallow.

"We're client-focused"

Partners can be client-focused. Individual lawyers can be client-focused and many actually are. But law firms as organisations are internally-focused and still far more geared to their internal workings, staffing issues and economics. Exceptions to that rule, at least with firms of any size, are very, very rare.

"Perception lags reality"

To be fair this one is not always nonsense but gains inclusion because it's often used when it is indeed total nonsense. That's because it is true that perception lags reality when the underlying substance changes. But that basic fact also gives convenient cover for law firms to convince themselves that an undeserved reputation is hanging around entirely due to this phenomenon rather than the genuine continued lack of performance of the team/partner in question. There is also the fact that law firms happily trade on the upside of this factor, quietly milking historic reputations when they are fully aware that a particular team or individual is now well past their sell-by date.

Anyway, good to get that off my chest (which is more than I can say for the flu). Readers with suggested additions can email me at [email protected]. And if you want to read a predictions piece executed with a bit of wit and realism, I recommend this blog by ALM's Vivia Chen.