Law firms are facing increasing scrutiny over the the way they deal with claims of sexual misconduct, amid a raft of recent high-profile incidents at firms including Baker McKenzie, Herbert Smith Freehills and Dentons. 

But how do the victims of such incidents feel about the way their complaints are being dealt with? Here, one lawyer recounts her experience of reporting sexual harassment by a more senior colleague.

"I had been at my current job in-house for about six months when one of the other employees there, who I had had a good relationship with until then, sent me some WhatsApp messages.

"The man who sent me the messages is very popular and good fun. He is known as someone who gets very flirty when drunk and goes a bit too far, but no more so than other men at my office and in most law firms that I'm aware of.

"I'd been concerned before, because he seemed to have a habit of sending me flirty messages when he was drunk, but I ignored them and let it go. When he was sober he was good company and a kind colleague, so that made it easier for me to ignore the other side to him.

"However, one Monday afternoon when he was out drinking he sent me a series of messages in which he not only made inappropriate advances, but also called me something offensive and sexually explicit. I could not believe what I was reading and I was immediately upset and angry, but my first instinct was to do nothing and say nothing.

"But, when I woke up the following day, I felt that I could not let this go because I was so offended and upset. I worried that this man's approach would escalate if I did nothing, and I felt threatened and vulnerable. I spoke to a couple of close friends and my sister, and their response was absolutely unanimous – I should not let this go.

I worried about how he would react to me if confronted, and whether I could end up worse off for reporting the issue

"A major concern for me was how it would be handled by HR, who were very nice, but frankly didn't seem to be picking up on the sexist comments made in the office (the HR team sat in an open-plan environment with us). My company has a very small percentage of women working for it, and the culture is generally pretty sexist in terms of the comments people make on a regular basis; certainly much more so than my previous law firm. There is no sense that someone would be pulled up for saying something inappropriate.

"I also worried about how this man would react to me if he was confronted, and wasn't sure whether I could end up worse off for reporting the issue.

"However, I asked to speak to HR and when I told them what had happened, they were much more responsive and helpful than I had expected. They recommended that they speak to the man and we agreed (because I still was worried about making a fuss, despite their assurances to the contrary) that they would pass on to him that I wanted to move past this, but that his behaviour was unacceptable and if it happened again he would be fired. I had constant supportive messages from HR throughout the day, and it was so welcome to have that support.

"I felt very nervous about his reaction and worried that he would say that I had led him on or that I had made it up. However, he asked to see me for a coffee after HR had seen him and he was clearly terrified as he made his apology. It was satisfying to see how quickly his bravado disappeared and, as my priority was still this admittedly contradictory combination of wanting to call him to account and also wanting to pretend that it had never happened, I told him that I forgave him so long as it never happened again.

"I was, and am, so aware of the instinctive need I felt to minimise the fallout, and even a feeling of guilt for causing a fuss and not being able to let it go. I think that those feelings are basically me trying to make my presence in the office fit in with all the men and not single myself out as a woman.

"Since then it has been uncomfortable between us – he finds it hard to meet my eye and obviously our previous easy relationship has gone. I'm glad that I took action and I do not regret it, but it is so frustrating that you can't really win either way. By making this man account for his behaviour, I do feel that I have isolated myself.

"I think that the lack of other women in my office makes it feel like I have more to lose from taking a stand, but I do find the constant sexism exhausting and demoralising. So for that reason, I have started to take a stand more and not just ignore comments which I think are sexist. I have more respect for myself as a professional when I do this.

"I like my job and I think I can do it well, so I don't want to be chased out by this behaviour. Having said that, if things don't change for the better over time, then I don't think it would be worth it to stay."