You can't scoop a major football story and not roll out the puns. That's a rule, I believe. And so our pun department was firing on all cylinders after Hannah Walker netted the story of the week, revealing that it was Simmons & Simmons and Northridge to assume the Chelsea Football Club sale mandate, while poor Skadden Arps Slate Meagher & Flom was still clutching the Abramovich-shaped hole in its heart.