Daily Dicta: Satan's Favorite Lawyer
'Is there anyone you wouldn't represent?' Kate McKinnon as the devil asked Jon Lovitz playing Alan Dershowitz in the SNL cold open. His answer: 'Well, as long as the client is famous enough to get me on TV, it's all good.'
January 26, 2020 at 10:45 PM
3 minute read
It's always a dubious honor for lawyers to be portrayed on Saturday Night Live—for example, Trump tax attorney Sheri Dillon, a partner at Morgan, Lewis & Bockius, was impersonated by Cecily Strong in 2017, who droned on about "so many dang papers… It's like, 'Help, help lifeguard. I'm practically drowning in papers.'"
But Saturday's cold open skewering Alan Dershowitz may be the most brutal lawyer portrayal yet. Jon Lovitz plays the Harvard Law professor emeritus, who is a member of the president's impeachment defense team.
The skit kicks off with Dershowitz practicing his arguments before senators Mitch McConnell and Susan Collins. "It's wonderful to be here, because I'm not welcome anywhere else," Lovitz as Dershowitz begins. "There's a lot of haters out there, for no good reason. But like I said to my client and my dear friend Jeffrey Epstein, haters gonna hate."
"Uh, Alan, I think you're going to want to stay away from Epstein," McConnell says.
"Oh right. Good point. Let me try again. Now members of the Senate, President Trump is a lot like another client of mine, Sir O.J. Simpson."
"Could you not mention your previous clients in connection with the president?" Collins says.
Dershowitz tries again. "If I learned one thing from my time with accused wife murderer Claus Von Bulow, it's that appearances can be deceiving. Trump couldn't possibly be guilty because…"
And then Lovitz as Dershowitz appears to have a heart attack and die, which wait what? Did SNL just kill Alan Dershowitz?
Not exactly.
The skit then moves to hell, where Kate McKinnon as Satan professes herself to be "a huge fan."
"Look at that, it's frickin Alan Dershowitz," she says excitedly, then assures him that's he not actually dead. "I'm going to send you back upstairs in a minute. Honestly, I just really wanted to meet you."
"I don't even know where to start, I'm about to fan girl out so hard now," McKinnon as Satan says, then asks if she can interview him for her podcast. ("I invented them.")
She poses a pretty good question: "How did you come up with this Trump defense, because years ago, you said you don't need a crime to impeach the president, and now you say you need something 'crime-like.' I'm speechless. It's amazing," Satan says.
"Aw, you're sweet," he replies.
"And I gotta ask, is there anyone you wouldn't represent?"
"Well, as long as the client is famous enough to get me on TV, it's all good."
Oh burn.
Watch the full skit here.
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