After reaching a $1 million settlement in her civil case against New Jersey earlier in May, Katie Brennan is starting to become Katie Brennan again. Slowly but surely, the telltale signs show she's getting there.

Brennan said she felt "happy" when the settlement was announced on May 15 in a release from the Governor's Office (though it had been reached a few weeks earlier, according to Katy McClure of Smith Eibeler of Holmdel, the law firm that represented Brennan).

"It was progress, and I was glad that I could look forward now, and that we can really get to work on the rest of the reforms and set up the program for the low-income survivors in Hudson County," Brennan said in a phone interview with the Law Journal Tuesday, with McClure listening in. "And that we can focus on … the judicial, prosecutorial and a lot of the legal reforms that are still yet to be touched. So I was happy."

The settlement resolved claims that the state, particularly Gov. Phil Murphy's administration, mishandled the response to Brennan's alleged rape by a fellow Murphy administration staff member in 2017, when the two were working on the Murphy campaign. Under the monetary terms, the $1 million was broken down as follows: $600,000 to the charity of Brennan's choice—she chose The Waterfront Project, which provides pro bono representation for low-income women who are victims of sexual assault in Hudson County (Brennan is a trustee of the organization)—and $400,000 to Smith Eibeler to cover her legal fees.

Brennan personally did not receive a dollar from the settlement—by intention, she said.

"I decided that the settlement award, outside of the legal fees, would go entirely to The Waterfront Project," Brennan said. "The reason I chose that is because I got a lot of [legal] support throughout this whole process, and frankly, a lot of survivors don't have that option."

Brennan said the last three years became a learning experience, and as her ordeal became more public and all-consuming, it took its toll on her on many levels.

In testifying before the Senate Judiciary Committee in Trenton last year during a hearing on legislation to extend the state's two-year statute of limitations for victims of sexual assault, Brennan introduced herself, as she did in other committee appearances, with a qualifier: "I'm Katie Brennan and Albert J. Alvarez raped me."

Alvarez has denied sexually assaulting Brennan, and the settlement was not an admission of guilt or liability, according to the release from the Governor's Office.

"If you look at that first Wall Street Journal article," published in October 2018, and detailing her rape allegation against Alvarez, "the subject matter was primarily that sex crimes in particular are extremely underreported, underprosecuted and underconvicted. … It's about credibility, a different approach," said Brennan in the interview Tuesday. "If someone says, 'My car was stolen.' People would not say, 'Oh, you're lying.'"

With survivors of sexual assault, "we really need to look at different ways to better handle these matters," Brennan said. "If it was that hard for me, imagine how hard it is for other people in similar situations. It was about making sure that people do have support to go through the legal journey."

"Along the way, I learned so much more from both my personal experience and from researching best practices, to put forth reforms that address a lot of these issues," Brennan said.

Among those reforms is a package of five bills named after Brennan, signed by Murphy last year, to provide better protections for survivors in state government against sexual harassment, retaliation and assault. One of the bills addresses employees during a transition in administrations—as Brennan experienced when she and Alvarez both worked on the "Murphy For Governor" campaign, when the alleged assault took place in April 2017.

Brennan said despite the difficulties of the last three years, she wouldn't do anything differently. At 32, she goes to work every day—like she'd done throughout the civil case—as chief of staff for the New Jersey Housing and Mortgage Finance Industry.

"I would absolutely come forward again," Brennan said. "The silence did not serve me at all. It did not protect me. … I would not force another person to come forward … but I want them to know they are not alone. We are here to listen and support them. I found a lot of strength in coming forward."

Brennan said she not only found her voice in coming forward, but the nonmonetary terms of the settlement give her and other victims a bigger one.

The New Jersey Division of Equal Employment Opportunity/Affirmative Action, within the New Jersey Civil Service Commission, will now allow an alleged victim of discrimination, harassment or retaliation to be accompanied by an adviser or support person during an interview by a division investigator.

"They will have support when they come forward at work," Brennan said. "This entire process of coming forward was about shedding light on the justice system. It was about reforms," Brennan said. "If I could not get justice, who can? I am very pleased to got equitable relief, which is not typical in civil suit settlements."

The state also agreed to allow Brennan to make a presentation about additional proposed policy reforms to the state attorney general's Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner Council. There is no date set yet on when she will appear before the council.

Brennan said she is presenting largely the same reforms she shared in a letter to Sen. Loretta Weinberg, D-Bergen, for hearings Weinberg is holding on sexual harassment in New Jersey politics.

"I will present those in more detail, the driving force behind them and the impact they would make, and where I and others have experienced obstacles in the current system, and best practices in other states to serve survivors," said Brennan.

Brennan said she has a message for victims of sexual assault who have not come forward out of fear, or lack of support and resources.

"I hear you. I believe you, and you are not alone. If there is anything you need, I am here to support you," Brennan said. "For me, speaking out gave me strength, and [I] learned this is not something you should be ashamed of, or have to live under that cloud."

When asked if the case at any point threatened to break her, given the obstacles she faced in pursuing justice, there was a long pause on the line and Brennan's voice began to crack before she regained her matter-of-fact composure.

"It was certainly not easy," Brennan said. "But living in that silence and without justice, it wears on you, and having that weight lifted can be very freeing and it gave me a lot of strength, and so did knowing there was a lot to accomplish."

"I am healing," Brennan said. "I had to heal enough to be able to come forward—that is why the statute of limitations reform was needed. It takes a long time to be able to talk, to be ready."

"I have a very good support system. It's about taking care of yourself and having good mental health support. Also, working on behalf of others is healing and this work [with The Waterfront Project] is part of that."

Brennan released a statement, through her attorneys, separate from the one released by the Governor's Office. In it, she states:

"From legislation and the release from NDAs [nondisclosure agreements], to greater awareness of harassment and assault, we've made great progress. Each reform sets us on a path toward justice. Each reform makes it worth the pain."

"Yet, we have a long way to go," Brennan said. "These conversations so often focus on the victims and the perpetrators, when really we need to talk about everyone else that's involved that doesn't take responsibility. Systems and culture are people. Victims, perpetrators, those in positions of power—all of us. We are all accountable for ending sexual violence. … We need the administration, the judicial system, every employer, every resident for change."

Brennan said she takes comfort in knowing that The Waterfront Project will now step in to provide women the legal recourse they need after being victimized.

"I felt this was the best leverage of the [settlement] funds and this is an organization that is very successful," Brennan said.

Becoming whole again is Brennan's new focus—and a meeting with Alvarez in the near future will help her get there, she said.

Another nonmonetary term of the settlement is that Brennan and Alvarez agreed to participate in a restorative justice process. The date is yet to be determined. Alvarez has also agreed to attend an anti-sexual harassment class.

"This is very important to me," Brennan said. "It will provide a lot more closure and healing for survivors. It's not an admission of guilt on either side, but what it can be is an opportunity to acknowledge one another's pain and have a facilitated discussion and find a path forward."

"That is something that the sexual assault advocates have additionally wanted in New Jersey, but we have not had a program here. It is something I would like to engage in and see if it can be a healing process for me and hopefully, replicate it for all New Jerseyans," added Brennan.

"The past three years have been very taxing. I am thankful I have a very loving family and husband, and friends like my therapist and my attorneys. I am in a very good place now."