August is finally here. Like many of you, I will be spending time at the Jersey Shore (“the beach” for all you non-Jersey folks) with my family. It’s a summer tradition, after all. As a dad to three young boys, though, there is a lot to worry about when spending a family-day at the shore: sunburns, seagulls stealing our food, riptides, and umbrellas. Wait. Umbrellas?

Yes, umbrellas. Beach umbrellas. Just two months ago, a woman sunbathing in Florida had her leg impaled by an umbrella that dislodged from the sand. In 2023, a woman in South Carolina was killed when a beach umbrella blew away and impaled her directly through the chest. In 2019, a 13-year-old boy was hospitalized after being impaled in the armpit by an umbrella at a beach in Massachusetts. And in 2016, a woman was killed at Virginia Beach due to a flying beach umbrella.