I was having lunch yesterday after a round of golf with three professional women friends. I am a retired big firm corporate law partner, and we were discussing things that we experienced or witnessed during the good old days in the legal and business world that would be considered inappropriate today.

“It's amazing,” I said. “Some men still don't get it.” I told them about how the marshal at the golf course we were playing recently paired my former law partner (Let's call her “Thelma”) and I with two men of our generation who were oblivious to the fact that old habits need to be re-examined. They were pleasant, but when we did the customary self-introductions on the first tee, one of them addressed me as “honey” and Thelma as “doll.” DOLL? I had visions of Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin with their arms around buxom blondes in Las Vegas.

I looked at Thelma, a big time, scary litigator in her day, to see if she would slug the guy. I was afraid that if we made a fuss, these guys would tell the marshal that we were pain-in-the-neck females who shouldn't be given tee times at prime times when men like to play. Since we had never been paired with women in the year and a half we played there, I feared we might never tee off again. Our golf careers would die right then and there! Thelma was probably thinking the same thing, so we smiled and patiently endured being addressed as “sweetie” and “baby” for 11 holes. Finally, we said, “Enough!” and adjourned to the grill and a glass of wine.

Then one of my other friends related something that had happened to her just the week before. Her team at a large commercial real estate company had an event where prizes were awarded. She didn't win. Her boss, who was hosting the office Christmas party the next night where he awarded prizes, was standing beside her. Making light conversation, she told him that she didn't win anything but hoped she would win something the next day. He looked her in the eyes and responded in a low voice, “It depends on what you are wearing.” Was that a sexist innuendo, a bad joke or what? Did he realize it? Probably not.

So, for those men who still don't get it, I put together a list of things you might consider not doing in this time of heightened consciousness of inappropriate behavior in male/female relationships:

First, it's probably not a good idea to address any woman with terms that are used in talking to children. For example, anyone over the age of puberty who is not your significant other should not be addressed as “honey,” “doll” or “sweetie.” “Baby” should be reserved for talking with actual babies. Use the woman's proper name. If you don't know it, say “Miss” or “Ma'am,” like nice Southern boys used to do. It's respectful.

Second, never respond to a simple conversational sentence with a suggestive or flirty response. It kills what could be a pleasant conversation or even a fruitful exchange of ideas. Unless she is looking for a hookup (possible, but unlikely) she will try to avoid you in the future. You will miss out on making a friend or loyal employee.

Third, if you don't want to allow a woman to enter an elevator first or open a door for her, don't editorialize that with, “I would open the door for you, but then you would say I was a sexist pig.” Don't BE a sexist pig and just get on the elevator first or let her open her own door without comment. We all realize manners and civility are dying anyway. But you might just impress people if you did the respectful thing. Everyone appreciates gentlemanly behavior.

Fourth, don't habitually close your office door when meeting with a particular subordinate woman unless you need to speak in private. Otherwise, the rest of the office might suspect that something is going on in there. That could make the trapped woman nervous and other women in the office resentful of her. It lessens her ability to be seen as a competent professional. Besides, if the woman is unscrupulous (It does happen, alas!) you may be setting yourself up for a situation where you are accused of something inappropriate that you didn't really do. If the door stays open for men in a similar situation, it should stay open for women.

Last, although hugging and air kissing when meeting is common in many social and business settings, trying to kiss subordinate women or colleagues on the lips is not appropriate. It reminds me of “copping a feel,” as the boys in my high school in Jersey used to say. Hug or kiss a woman you know in greeting or goodbye on the cheek. If you are greeting both a woman and male clients or colleagues, don't shake hands with the man but kiss and/or hug the woman. Greet them both the same way. If you are meeting a woman for the first time, or someone you don't know well, a handshake is appropriate. If the woman has a stronger grip than you expected, don't comment about it.

Old habits are hard to change and often we don't realize the effect that things we do or say has on those around us. But, the times–”they are a changing”–and I encourage all you guys who are good people to be more “mindful” (to use a trendy theme) of how you relate to women so that missteps don't rob you of the ability to have meaningful relationships with opposite-sex colleagues.

Above all, don't allow the current hysteria cause you to avoid working with women. Just keep your interaction respectful and professional, the same as you do with other men.

Patricia Hunt Holmes, Ph.D., J.D. is a retired partner with Vinson & Elkins. Her first fiction novel, “Searching for Pilar,” debuted April 10, 2017.