Five Golden Opportunities That Come Only With Experience
This month, I turn 65. At this milestone, I'd like to share five beliefs I now hold. Let me add: This is not, I hope, my "Last Lecture." Those decisions are well above my pay grade. So, join me in looking in life's rear-view mirror.
July 31, 2018 at 06:00 AM
6 minute read
This month I turn 65. At this milestone, I'd like to share five beliefs I now hold. Let me add: This is not, I hope, my “Last Lecture.” Those decisions are well above my pay grade. So, join me in looking in life's rear-view mirror with poet Pablo Neruda as our navigator: “Hay que andar tanto por el mundo para constatar ciertas cosas” (“We have to walk a long way in the world to know the truth of certain things.”) First off, the trifecta of accepting, embracing and acting.
Belief No. 1: Accept your age. About four years ago I was sick, as in white tunnel to the afterlife sick. Two weeks over the holidays were lost to me. I finally saw a physician who told me, not unkindly: “Mr. Maslanka, you don't realize how sick you were. Listen to me, you are not 40 years old anymore” Point taken. (Full disclosure: Perhaps advice not fully followed but fully believed.) Gravity wins, I promise. But you must not merely accept your age, you must actively embrace it. Otherwise advancing age is, well, the waste of a golden opportunity. An opportunity to reflect, to learn and to teach.
Belief No. 2: Embrace your age. ”Wherever you go, there you are.” That's a Buddhist expression. It's true. Let me digress a minute. In my course “Effective Oral Communication,” I teach the value of a pause by reading lines from “Ode to Autumn,” by John Keats. Here it goes: “Where are the songs of spring?/Ay, where are they?/Think not of them for thou hast thy music too.” I then read the lines without the rhetorical question. Falls flat doesn't it? Keats' rhetorical question allows the listener to take a cognitive breath and catch up with his point which is identical to mine: Focus on what is, not on what was. As poet Jack Gilbert reminds us: ”It's the having not the keeping that is the treasure.” (From “The Lost Hotels of Paris.”)
Belief No. 3: Act your age. I am at a partner's retreat. Wine is flowing, martinis are shaken, cocktails are mixed. A partner about seven years my senior proclaims to me: “You'll see—when you are as old as I am you will say whatever you want, to whomever you want, whenever you want.” (Not quite so lucid but you get the gist.) I thought “how cool.” But I was wrong. I realize now that we must engage—as the Buddha taught us—in right speech. Speech that is candid, kind and transparent. Not reckless, uninformed and thoughtless. Whether as a senior partner with a junior associate, as a parent with a child or as a professor with a student. Younger humans listen to what we say, how we say it and why we say it. They'll remember with all the consequences that flow from remembering.
Belief No 4: Youth is a tonic. I am childless, yet becoming a law professor awakens within me a lesson I assimilated from parents: Spending time with the young add years to your life—although it does not always feel that way. This lesson coalesces for me on the first day of the semester. I stand in front of the class. I see their hopeful and expectant faces. I understand that they are here to learn the law and to do good with their knowledge. My heart swells with gratitude to be their professor. I feel this way even in Week 15 after the semester takes its toll on us both. I am reminded of a passage from “Henry V” after Henry and his soldiers march through terrible weather conditions before the battle of Agincourt: “We are but warriors for the working day/our gayness and are gilt are all besmirched/with rainy marching in the painful field/…But by (God) our hearts are in the trim.” Go ahead: Hang with youth.
Belief No. 5: Relish life, sparingly. We hear the drumbeat from the joie de vivre crowd: Make every minute count; live life to the fullest; make those bucket lists. After all, they argue, time is running out. (Yes, I know it is.) I didn't embrace these mindsets at 25, and I won't start at 65. Doing so is, well, just too darn exhausting. The “Enjoy Every Sandwich” mindset is fine as in occasional exposure to the summer sun. A modest dose is healthy and rejuvenating; too much is toxic and numbing. (Caveat: We must, though, express gratitude every day, because anger, envy and jealousy cannot exist in the same space-time continuum with it.)
No. 6: Repackage, reframe, reposition (the three R's). This is the art of lawyering and the art of living. The challenge: Dealing with the unhappiness triggered when expectations and reality do not sync up. The solution: the three R's. I was with a defendant client in mediation where we settled. He had to pay some money, but I assured him doing so was a good deal, given our exposure. He smiled and said something I have never forgotten: “So you are telling me this was inexpensive tuition?” Now that's a reframe. Several years ago I was nominated for an award. I lost. But the repackage went like this: “Mike, what would you rather have: to win the award and do half of what you have done in speaking and writing? Or lose and do all you have been privileged to do?” To ask these questions is to answer them.
A birthday implies we came from nothing, but we do not. We are always here, it's just that we manifest when conditions are sufficient, and we don't when they are not.
As a child, my family visited my Polish grandmother and uncle who worked daily—dairy cows do not understand the concept of the weekend—on a 90-acre farm near Buffalo. While the adults were in the postage stamp-sized house speaking indecipherable Polish, my brother and I explored the barn and the garage. It was dingy, cluttered and utilitarian, yet wedged in between was my grandmother's flower bed.
In freezing February we saw—with our young and naked eyes—only dirt. In warming May, though, we saw the tulips and the daffodils. For me, an amazing memory and—I have come to believe—a wonderful foreshadowing.
This content has been archived. It is available through our partners, LexisNexis® and Bloomberg Law.
To view this content, please continue to their sites.
Not a Lexis Subscriber?
Subscribe Now
Not a Bloomberg Law Subscriber?
Subscribe Now
NOT FOR REPRINT
© 2024 ALM Global, LLC, All Rights Reserved. Request academic re-use from www.copyright.com. All other uses, submit a request to [email protected]. For more information visit Asset & Logo Licensing.
You Might Like
View AllThe Narcissist’s Dilemma: Balancing Power and Inadequacy in Family Law
8 minute readTrending Stories
- 1Outgoing USPTO Director Kathi Vidal: ‘We All Want the Country to Be in a Better Place’
- 2Supreme Court Will Review Constitutionality Of FCC's Universal Service Fund
- 3'It Refreshes Me': King & Spalding Privacy Leader Doubles as Equestrian Champ
- 4Class Action Filed Against Houston Health Savings Account Firm for Allegedly Confiscating Client Funds
- 5These 2 Lawyers Just Became Florida Judges
Who Got The Work
Michael G. Bongiorno, Andrew Scott Dulberg and Elizabeth E. Driscoll from Wilmer Cutler Pickering Hale and Dorr have stepped in to represent Symbotic Inc., an A.I.-enabled technology platform that focuses on increasing supply chain efficiency, and other defendants in a pending shareholder derivative lawsuit. The case, filed Oct. 2 in Massachusetts District Court by the Brown Law Firm on behalf of Stephen Austen, accuses certain officers and directors of misleading investors in regard to Symbotic's potential for margin growth by failing to disclose that the company was not equipped to timely deploy its systems or manage expenses through project delays. The case, assigned to U.S. District Judge Nathaniel M. Gorton, is 1:24-cv-12522, Austen v. Cohen et al.
Who Got The Work
Edmund Polubinski and Marie Killmond of Davis Polk & Wardwell have entered appearances for data platform software development company MongoDB and other defendants in a pending shareholder derivative lawsuit. The action, filed Oct. 7 in New York Southern District Court by the Brown Law Firm, accuses the company's directors and/or officers of falsely expressing confidence in the company’s restructuring of its sales incentive plan and downplaying the severity of decreases in its upfront commitments. The case is 1:24-cv-07594, Roy v. Ittycheria et al.
Who Got The Work
Amy O. Bruchs and Kurt F. Ellison of Michael Best & Friedrich have entered appearances for Epic Systems Corp. in a pending employment discrimination lawsuit. The suit was filed Sept. 7 in Wisconsin Western District Court by Levine Eisberner LLC and Siri & Glimstad on behalf of a project manager who claims that he was wrongfully terminated after applying for a religious exemption to the defendant's COVID-19 vaccine mandate. The case, assigned to U.S. Magistrate Judge Anita Marie Boor, is 3:24-cv-00630, Secker, Nathan v. Epic Systems Corporation.
Who Got The Work
David X. Sullivan, Thomas J. Finn and Gregory A. Hall from McCarter & English have entered appearances for Sunrun Installation Services in a pending civil rights lawsuit. The complaint was filed Sept. 4 in Connecticut District Court by attorney Robert M. Berke on behalf of former employee George Edward Steins, who was arrested and charged with employing an unregistered home improvement salesperson. The complaint alleges that had Sunrun informed the Connecticut Department of Consumer Protection that the plaintiff's employment had ended in 2017 and that he no longer held Sunrun's home improvement contractor license, he would not have been hit with charges, which were dismissed in May 2024. The case, assigned to U.S. District Judge Jeffrey A. Meyer, is 3:24-cv-01423, Steins v. Sunrun, Inc. et al.
Who Got The Work
Greenberg Traurig shareholder Joshua L. Raskin has entered an appearance for boohoo.com UK Ltd. in a pending patent infringement lawsuit. The suit, filed Sept. 3 in Texas Eastern District Court by Rozier Hardt McDonough on behalf of Alto Dynamics, asserts five patents related to an online shopping platform. The case, assigned to U.S. District Judge Rodney Gilstrap, is 2:24-cv-00719, Alto Dynamics, LLC v. boohoo.com UK Limited.
Featured Firms
Law Offices of Gary Martin Hays & Associates, P.C.
(470) 294-1674
Law Offices of Mark E. Salomone
(857) 444-6468
Smith & Hassler
(713) 739-1250