Did you ever wonder whatever happened to that kid in school  who had  every excuse in the book and they all made "the dog ate my homework" pale by comparison? You guessed it — he grew up and became a lawyer! And not just any garden variety lawyer, but one with what Liam Neeson's Taken character would call "a particular set of skills" when it comes to the art of the continuance. Most lawyers, however, are nowhere as creative or smooth when it comes to seeking a delay, and they just have to rely on the plain old truth. And then there are those who come up with the worst ways to get a continuance, like the walking cautionary tales below.

I.  Don't Make A Bomb Threat

Syracuse lawyer Jacqueline B. Jones pleaded guilty to phoning in a bomb threat on February 26, 2015 to the daycare center located in the federal courts building where she had a hearing that day. Jones was scheduled to be in court that afternoon for a sanctions hearing against her in a civil rights case she was defending. Jones, who was 47 years old at the time was not successful. The hearing went forward without her, despite the alarm as a search of the courthouse was conducted and nearly 600 people (including 70 children in the daycare center) sheltered in place. Jones admitted later she made the threat to avoid the hearing and was sentenced by a federal judge to one year of probation and a $20,000 fine. Her law license was also suspended for a year by the New York Supreme Court.

II.  Really — Don't Make a Bomb Threat

In May 2017, Cleveland attorney Gregory Moore pleaded guilty to charges of inducing panic when he called in bomb threats in July 2012 to three different courts. According to court records, Moore had hearings scheduled in three different divorce cases on those days — the same courtrooms that received the threatening phone calls. Moore also pleaded guilty to lying to police in connection with their investigation of the unsolved murder of one of his divorce clients, Aliza Sherman. Moore had an appointment to meet with Sherman on March 24, 2013 at his office and sent her a text message just before she was stabbed to death by an unknown assailant that day. Moore had previously acknowledged her trial was set for the next day, he was unprepared, and the judge had warned him there would be no further continuances. Moore was sentenced to six months in jail, three years of probation, and later resigned his law license.

III.  Don't Lie About Having Cancer

In February, Illinois bar disciplinary authorities filed a complaint against Chicago civil rights lawyer Vincenzo Field, accusing him of repeatedly lying about having stomach cancer (or having a child with stomach cancer) in order to get extensions on discovery deadlines, and to put off trials and depositions. According to the complaint, Field's pattern of deception began back when he applied to law school using the disease as an excuse for his initially lower LSAT score. The bar maintains that not only has Field never had cancer or any of the medical procedures he described, he also never had the ill foster son he referenced for some of his excuses. Field's attorney has filed a response admitting many of the false statements, but stating that while he never had stomach cancer Field does suffer from depression.

IV.  Don't Show Up to the Courthouse With Bedbugs

In February, an attorney in Claremore, Oklahoma showed up at the Rogers County Courthouse and proceeded to a courtroom, where court personnel saw "something crawling on his neck." Then, when the lawyer removed his jacket and placed it over some files, others saw bed bugs falling out of the jacket and onto the files. Upon seeing the bugs, the county commissioner and emergency personnel evacuated the courthouse until the next day and contacted exterminators. One judge with 146 cases on her docket that day was not amused. And while the sheriff's office declined to release the name of the lawyer responsible for the bed bugs, at least several courthouse regulars commented on Facebook that this outbreak was not the first personal hygiene episode involving that lawyer.

So there are definitely ways to get a continuance, albeit ones we don't recommend. But there are good reasons, too — like Dallas lawyer Darrell Cook, who in 2010 cited his "unequivocal" love of baseball's Texas Rangers and the need to be in San Francisco for the Rangers World Series Game 1 against the San Francisco Giants (the motion was granted). Childbirth is a pretty good reason too, although some lawyers have been known to oppose their female colleagues when it comes to such grounds. In one 2012 case pending in federal court in Kansas City, incredulous U.S. District Judge Eric Melgren granted a continuance due to defense counsel's impending childbirth and denied the plaintiff's opposition, stating "for reasons of good taste which should be (though, apparently, are not) too obvious to explain, the Court declines to accept Plaintiff's invitation to speculate on the time of conception of the [defense counsel's] child."

John G. Browning is a Dallas-based attorney who handles a wide variety of civil litigation in state and federal courts.