It's that time of year again—when publications everywhere scramble to compile their annual "Best of/Worst of" lists, chronicling the notable and the notorious. Here, we're just going to lighten your mood with some of the oddest happenings in the legal system over the past year.

The "Oddest Probation Condition" award goes to Christopher Montilliano, Jr. of Maui, Hawaii. In June 2018, the 21 year-old was arrested by police for stealing a car, but he told the officers that his cousin had loaned him the car so he could go purchase soft drinks. After pleading no contest to unauthorized control of a vehicle and driving without a license, Montilliano was sentenced to time served, 100 hours of community service, and a fine. But Judge Rhonda Loo also imposed a strange additional condition of probation. After Montilliano testified that he was on his way to buy Pepsi (his favorite drink), she issued an order directing the young man to not drink Pepsi for four years, calling it "the Pepsi deprivation syndrome." Time to switch to Coca-Cola, Christopher.

The "Most Pathetic Lawsuit" distinction goes to a 40 year-old Indiana man identified only as "Charlie" who in April filed a federal lawsuit seeking $87,000 in damages against his parents in U.S. District Court for the Western District of Michigan. "Charlie" claimed that after a divorce, he moved back in with his parents until they allegedly "kicked him out" over a domestic incident. When his parents delivered his belongings to his new place in Indiana, "Charlie" noticed something missing: his massive porn collection, which he valued at more than $28,000. In an email exchange included in the lawsuit, the man's father wrote to "Charlie" saying that they destroyed "twelve moving boxes full of pornography plus two boxes of 'sex toys' . . . I did you a big favor by getting rid of all this stuff for you." "Charlie" tried to press criminal charges, but the prosecutor declined to go forward due to lack of evidence. I'm not sure which is sadder—being a 40 year-old man living with your parents and having a massive porn collection (detailed in the lawsuit with titles and all), or telling the world about it by filing the case.

The "Something Doesn't Smell Right" award goes to Oklahoma attorney Mark Bailey. Bailey, who was charged in 2017 for assault and battery in an alleged "road rage" incident, hand-delivered a check to the Oklahoma Bar Association, representing a refund for a former client. But according to the OBA, Bailey insisted that the check be given directly to a General Counsel staff member. The check had a "pinched indentation and there was a brown, damp smear across its front," according to the OBA, and test results later confirmed that the substance on the check was fecal matter. Bailey was instructed to bring a new check by the end of the day, and the OBA has now initiated a complaint against the criminal defense lawyer. Bailey denies "anything nefarious about the check." I've heard of lawyers treating people like crap, but this one tops them all.

The "What, No Professional Courtesy?" award goes to Savannah, Georgia attorney Gene Brooks. The personal injury lawyer was swimming in the Wilmington River in June when a shark bit him in the upper right arm and chest, inflicting wounds that resulted in 23 stitches. The type of shark that attacked Brooks is not known, but doctors estimate from the bite marks that it was 4 to 6 feet long. Brooks says that while the incident scared him, "I feel real lucky. It didn't hit muscle, bone or blood vessels so I'm good to go." Pictures posted on social media show the bite wound, as well as a smiling and bandaged Brooks drinking a Landshark lager. And while Brooks insists the shark attack won't keep him out of the water, he is being bombarded with the typical "lawyer/shark professional courtesy" jokes.

Finally, one of the biggest legal stories of the year was the "Varsity Blues" college admissions cheating scandal, in which a number of the rich and famous were ensnared. The defendants included everyone from wealthy business titans, a Wall Street lawyer, and Hollywood actors such as "Fuller House" star Lori Loughlin and her husband, fashion mogul Mossimo Giannulli. The two are accused of paying $500,000 to get their daughters, social media influencer Olivia Jade and her sister Isabella Rose, into USC under the guise of being crew athletes (even though neither participated in the sport). For her part, Olivia Jade has insisted that with her flourishing career as a social media influencer, she didn't need any help getting into college. Not so fast, Olivia Jade. It seems that when the young woman attempted to trademark the brands "Olivia Jade Beauty" and "Olivia Jade," the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office rejected the applications. The reason? Improper punctuation. In a March 15 letter, the USPTO directed Olivia Jade to "correct the punctuation" within 6 months, or the cosmetics she listed will be dropped from consideration. It sounds like someone needs an education after all.

John G. Browning is a Dallas-based attorney who handles a wide variety of civil litigation in state and federal courts.