Some of the strangest moments in the justice system are forever memorialized in the humble police report—like the one filled out by the officers who stopped a woman who identified herself as "Beyonce Knowles" for auto theft in New Mexico this March. To the relief of Beyhive members everywhere, no doubt, it was not the former Destiny's Child singer of "Single Ladies" fame—just 48-year-old Surena Henry of Las Cruces, who stole a car and then "didn't feel like pulling over for police," leading to a chase. Henry, who had an outstanding bench warrant, was booked at the Don Ana County Detention Center, where her true identity was revealed. Couldn't the police just ask her to sing?

Giving a fake name to police is rarely a good idea, but it's especially bad when that name is readily recognizable from pop culture. Take, for example, 27-year-old Getro Gelin of Port St. Lucie, Florida. Police investigating an assault complaint involving a weapon that the victim claimed was stashed in Gelin's SUV confronted Gelin at his home. In the vehicle, the officers found a semiautomatic rifle, a Glock 21 pistol, and a bulletproof vest. When asked for an explanation, Gelin told police that the SUV wasn't his—he sold it to his cousin, "John Wick." The police had some understandable doubts about Gelin's story, given that John Wick is a fictional legendary assassin portrayed by Keanu Reeves in a hugely popular movie franchise. Making Gelin's story even less credible is that, as any fan of the three "John Wick" films knows, two guns is barely a starter kit for Reeves' seemingly indestructible character, who boasts a pretty impressive arsenal in the movies. Gelin was arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and is being held in the county jail in lieu of bond.

Mistaken identity is a popular alibi with those who find themselves on the wrong side of the law. On April 26, police in Mt. Juliet, Tennessee, responded to a break-in call at a local residence and confronted a man wearing a gorilla costume whom the homeowners had found inside their house, frightening their 6 year-old daughter. Although he tried to escape (perhaps looking for an Empire State Building to climb?), police caught up to and arrested the would-be "gorilla," who turned out to be 31-year-old Richard Muzick of Old Hickory, Tennessee. Before being charged with burglary, Muzick insisted it was all a simple misunderstanding and that he thought he was at someone else's house, looking for a different individual. What kind of monkey business would support Muzick's story—a costume party "wrong address," a prank gone awry, or perhaps a wrong turn on the way to a "Planet of the Apes" convention? We may never know.

Of course, sometimes an identity that sounds far too fake to be true really is. Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear recently commented on the unprecedented number of state residents applying for unemployment benefits, calling out "bad apples" who had used fake names in their applications—like Tupac Shakur. But that was news to the very real and alive 46-year-old Tupac Malik Shakur, a restaurant worker who's been displaced by the pandemic, not living the thug life. Shakur—no relation to the deceased rap icon—said he was "hurt, embarrassed and shocked" by the governor's comments, in light of the fact that he used his legal name to file for unemployment. With all eyes on him, Beshear has since apologized to Shakur. I think that was very Biggie of him.

Of course, your odds of getting away with providing a false name tend to go up if you don't already have your real name tattooed prominently on your body. That was the mistake made by 36-year-old Matthew Bushman of Mansfield, Illinois, recently. Police investigating a forgery involving Bushman questioned him, but he provided a false name and date of birth (presumably to avoid arrest on an active warrant). But the alert Mansfield officers weren't fooled, especially when they noticed the "Matty B" tattoo displayed across his throat. Now Matthew "Matty B" Bushman is also facing charges of obstructing justice.

And if you're going to provide an alias to police, you may want to do your homework first—unlike Jonothan Ray Gonsalez of Box Elder, Montana. Hoping to avoid arrest for his three outstanding warrants, Gonsalez gave police officers a fake name during a traffic stop in Great Falls, Montana—"Timothy Michael Koop, Jr." As it turns out, a person by that name was also wanted by law enforcement, resulting in Gonsalez being taken into custody. Once he was correctly identified and his attempted alias "flew the Koop," Gonsalez had a charge of "false report to law enforcement" added to the drug possession rap he was already facing.

Finally, there's always at least one case where you actually wish the defendant had given police a fake moniker instead of his legal name. In 2012, the person formerly known as Jeffrey Drew Wilschke was arrested by Madison, Wisconsin, police under his legally changed name, "Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop." "Beezow" was also arrested by law enforcement the next year in Iowa. To the surprise of no one ever, both arrests were on drug-related offenses.

John G. Browning is a Dallas-based attorney who handles a wide variety of civil litigation in state and federal courts.