The concept of biased views judged by appearances.I learned a lesson years ago. A client returned for a modification in a custody agreement. He seemed anxious and I asked, "What are you worried about?" He said, "I think the judge will decide I'm a terrorist because of the way I look." His wife, who had been Muslim, had decided she was no longer Muslim and wanted to have primary parenting. Knowing the judge, I sensed my client had a right to be concerned. We decided to hit the presumed bias by asking in court examination, "What are you most concerned about right now?" We settled the case before we could try it.

Most of us, along with our judges, mediators and custody evaluators, don't think we have biases and prejudices that affect our judgment. We are wrong, however.

A wise person once said, "You never get people to think differently by telling them they are wrong." Tell me I'm wrong and I am likely to become more entrenched in my ill-formed, preconceived thinking.