Forget about the Brink's armored car robbery of millions of dollars. Never mind the hype about the slick art thieves making off with priceless Rembrandts and Picassos from Europe's finest museums. If you really want proof that crime doesn't pay—but may make you really hungry—you'll sit up and take notice of thefts involving what's really important: food.

In what I have to file under the heading of "only in Texas," we have the theft of $1.2 million worth of fajitas. Now, I like my fajitas as much as the next person, but that's a lot. It seems that 53 year-old Gilberto Escamilla had been a long-time employee of the Darrell B. Hester Juvenile Detention Center in San Benito until August 2017. That's when it was discovered that Escamilla had been placing orders for fajitas using county funds and then selling them for his own profit since December 2008. His scheme unraveled after a delivery driver for Labatt Food Service called the detention center to give kitchen staff the head's up that an 800-pound delivery of fajitas had arrived. The kitchen employees thought that odd, since the minors at the detention center were not served fajitas. The delivery driver insisted that, for the past nine years, they'd been making deliveries to the center. After a brief investigation (in which law enforcement searched Escamilla's home and found a refrigerator full of fajitas), Escamilla was fired, arrested, and convicted of a first-degree felony. He said "it got to the point where I couldn't control it anymore"—which pretty much sums up my feelings for fajitas, too.