A young woman, Nicky, once came to talk with me about a dilemma she couldn’t solve to her satisfaction. She was having an affair with Michael, a man about 10 years older, married and the father of two. She at first worked for him, then volunteered to help with the kids, then became the default baby sitter. At some point she also became his lover. She tried to get Michael, who was affluent and powerful, to leave his wife for her, but he could not make up his mind. After some months, Nicky broke off the affair, but she continued to baby-sit and work for Michael in his company.

Soon, she was dating Ronald, the heir of an old, prominent and wealthy business. He asked her to marry him, and she readily agreed. When Michael expressed displeasure, she told him she had no choice: He had forced her into the relationship by refusing to leave his wife for her. She married Ronald but renewed her clandestine relationship with Michael. Now, they were both cheating on their spouses.

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