In the wake of Memorial Day weekend, I got to thinking about our LGBTQ members of the armed services. For 17 years, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT) forcibly closeted tens of thousands of military service men and women. Originally designed as a compromise between lawmakers and military personnel who wanted the ban on LGBTQ service members lifted and those who didn’t, the reality of DADT encouraged an environment where discrimination and prejudice festered, and those most hurt by it had no recourse because they faced dishonorable discharge. Over the lifespan of DADT, more than 14,000 service members were given discharges due to their sexual orientation. The Sept. 20, 2011, repeal of DADT, however, lifted that albatross from the necks of our LGBTQ service members, allowing them to live authentically both in and out of uniform. Now we have a military that accepts any qualified person willing to serve and with the daily reminder of the dangers at our country’s doorstep, better late than never.
So, what has the military been like since the repeal of DADT for service men and women? There are many, many stories online of LGBTQ military personnel and the hoops they jumped through to remain in the military despite their orientation or gender identity. Allowing their colleagues and superiors to believe their significant others were roommates. The couples who weren’t able to speak with each other across deployments as frequently or as fearlessly as their heterosexual counterparts for fear of being correctly identified by nearby unit members. The fears a deployed soldier had concerning benefits for their significant others and children should their service conclude in the ultimate sacrifice. Being forced to lead a double life just to have both career and love.
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