Dena Lefkowitz.
  • Join a local bar association and one or two committees.
  • Volunteer for a board position in something you really care about, not just because you think it will look good to be associated with the group.
  • Join one or two nonindustry specific organizations.
  • When you attend a networking event:
    • Find out what you can about who is going to be there that you would like to meet and send an email ahead of time expressing your interest in saying hello at the event. This includes the speaker.
    • Think ahead about topics you can talk about when you get there such as a trending news item. Robinson refers to “conversational currency,” defined as “social and textual knowledge likely to be shared by many members of a culture which offers common ground.” You are looking for that common ground, so think about who will be there and what their interests might be. One thing that everyone there has in common is the room. Just like weddings, there is a purpose that brought everyone into that room and that reason for being there can provide fertile topics for conversation.
    • If it's your first time attending an event with an organization or networking group, let someone know at the registration table and ask for introductions.
    • Don't talk only to people you already know. That's a comfort zone that many sink into at networking events.
    • Find other questions to break the ice besides “what do you do?” Instead try something open-ended like “how has your day been?”
    • When you see that groups have already formed, don't interrupt if it it's two people because it's more likely to be personal. More than two, feel free to jump in. But say something immediately so it doesn't get awkward as you stand on the fringe of a conversation waiting for an opening. Introduce yourself and ask if you may join them. I sometimes say “room for one more?”
    • If you are part of a group, form a semi-circle instead of a closed circle so people will feel more comfortable approaching. Be mindful to pivot out so you appear open rather than closed.
    • Find a spot where there are no groups like the line for food. There you have a captive audience and it's easy and natural to strike up a conversation.
    • Do more listening than talking. When you allow the other person to speak as much as they'd like, they walk away thinking you're a great conversationalist and you've collected information that will be useful in follow-up conversations.
    • Ask for business cards when a natural trigger occurs. Perhaps they mentioned something of interest and you can say “I'd love to follow up with you on that—do you have a card?”
    • If the other person doesn't have a card, get their information so you can follow up. Don't give them your card expecting them to follow up with you.
    • Spend only about five minutes with each person at an event and then excuse yourself by saying something like “It's been great talking to you and I'd love to talk more, but since we're both here to network, I'll follow up with you in the next few days.” If you are having trouble extricating yourself, you may have to invent a reason, such as getting a drink or the restroom. In that event, walk toward the place you just mentioned rather than starting a new conversation with someone else.
    • Follow up within 24 to 72 hours and be as specific as possible, e.g., “I enjoyed talking with you about skydiving. Perhaps we can continue the conversation over coffee?”
Dena Lefkowitz  is a certified professional coach who helps clients improve networking and marketing skills, make successful career transitions, and develop the skills necessary to lead. Having practiced law for 25 years in private practice and in-house, she understands the challenges new and seasoned lawyers face. Lefkowitz has successfully coached a best-selling author, lawyers, accountants and chief executives. Firms have also hired Lefkowitz to work directly with lawyers at all phases of their careers to improve performance and increase their contributions to the firm. For more information, visit www.achievementbydesign.com.