Elizabeth Pride of Women Against Abuse Legal Center

While stay-at-home orders have forced people inside to protect public health, there are many people for whom the home is not itself a safe place. Victims of domestic violence face new barriers to seeking help and maintaining safety during the COVID-19 crisis, and now, more than ever, it is important to provide victims with comprehensive support whenever they are able to reach out.

Victims of domestic violence now may have been isolated in their homes with an abusive partner for several weeks, and are facing many more weeks or months in isolation with someone who is dangerous to them. It may not be safe for them to call for help if they lack the privacy to do so, and they may feel anxiety about calling the police or seeking medical assistance when also being told to reduce exposure to others whenever possible. The fear of future violence may also deter victims from leaving, as 36% of women were assaulted at least once more after leaving an abusive partner, and nearly three-quarters of those assaults were severe in nature, according to one study by Ruth E. Fluery and other authors in "When Ending the Relationship Doesn't End the Violence: Women's Experiences of Violence by Former Partners." If facing threats of future violence, many people may decide that staying with their abusive partner may be their safest current option, especially as other barriers to leaving like financial insecurity and limited housing options are exacerbated by this public health crisis. This does not mean that the person who is being abused is choosing to continue to be abused or has the responsibility to help their partner avoid abusing them. One way to help someone in this difficult situation is to help them create a safety plan.

Safety plans are a tool that victims of domestic violence can either create on their own or with the support of another person to identify practical strategies they can use when faced with a dangerous situation. Safety plans may cover strategies for safety while in an abusive relationship, while leaving or seeking help, or for maintaining safety after the relationship has ended. There is no one-size-fits-all safety plan, and COVID-19 poses additional challenges that may require plan modifications. In fact, conditions imposed by COVID-19 may change or intensify abuse experience, as an abuser's unemployment is a validated risk factor of femicide according to Jacqueline Campbell's "Danger Assessment," and food and housing insecurity are associated with a higher prevalence of past-year domestic violence experience for men and women, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention report, "Intimate Partner Violence in the United States–2010." Furthermore, many victims may have reduced opportunities to access support through their communities and social networks because of COVID-19. Anyone can help someone who is experiencing domestic violence create a safety plan, so below are some ideas for helping someone create a safety plan during the COVID-19 crisis:

Strategies for Inside the Home

A victim of domestic violence who is remaining in their home with an abusive partner can identify a room or area of the home as the "safest room," and make an effort to go there during an argument. A "safest room" should have exits to the outside and lack easy access to weapons. If no room can be designated as the safest place, they could also make "safer rooms" throughout their home by locking up, hiding, or putting weapons into harder-to-reach places.

As many people are feeling overwhelmed by spending more time indoors, people experiencing domestic violence are no exception. If possible and safe, encourage them to try to take breaks by walking outside, exercising, or spending time in a yard or park while maintaining at least six feet of distance from others. Having time alone, or time where children can release some of their energy outdoors, can be helpful in reducing or diffusing tension inside. If time outside is not an option, they may be able to create distance within the home by spending time in other areas or encouraging their partner to engage in activities that keep them distracted and calm, such as watching television or talking to friends and family on the phone.

Most people in abusive relationships are familiar with their partner's triggers and already employ multiple strategies for attempting to diffuse or avoid violent outbursts. What do they already do to try to avoid their partner's triggers or safely diffuse them? If they are not still able to do those things now, are there ways to modify their approach? Similarly, thinking through strategies that promote at least temporary calm in the home and how those strategies can be modified if impacted by the current public health crisis can also be helpful for victims who are trying to avoid having problems in the home. When appropriate, recognize the creativity and expertise that people in abusive relationships have in maintaining their own safety.

Strategies for Seeking Help or Leaving

While calling 911 is always an option for emergencies, there are many other ways to seek help. People with children may want to establish code words or signals to communicate discretely about calling for help or asking them to go into another room. They may also want to set code words or phrases with a trusted friend, neighbor, or family member to ask someone to call for help on their behalf if calling in front of their abusive partner would put them in more danger.

If the opportunity to leave arises, having important items set aside in a bag can be helpful to make a speedy exit. A few changes of clothing, essential medications, copies or original important documents, and an extra set of keys are all things to consider adding to a to-go bag, as well as repeating this process for any children in the home. If there is concern that the abusive partner may find this bag, think about other places that it could be kept where it would still be accessible, such as at the home of a supportive neighbor or family member. Emailing photos of documents or evidence to a trusted contact can be another way to digitally preserve important documents if storing physical copies elsewhere is impossible.

Often, thinking through how to obtain supportive services, before using them, can help someone experiencing abuse feel less overwhelmed by what would come after they leave or their abusive partner leaves. This is especially important now as many organizations are still operating but with modified or remote services. Make a list of the services or information they would need to maintain independent living, from banking information to available social services. In Philadelphia and elsewhere, courts are still accepting petitions for Protection From Abuse orders, albeit with modified procedures. If possible, before needing any social or legal services, calling around to find out how to obtain assistance can help someone feel less pressure when it comes time to actually use those services. If there is not privacy to do this in the home, they could plan to make these calls while going out to run essential errands or take a walk.

 Managing Difficult Emotions

Many victims of domestic violence find that actually writing out their safety plans in a safe place is helpful, as the body's trauma responses during a crisis can make it difficult to remember everything. The process of making a plan can also be soothing to someone who may feel like they don't know where to start. Navigating an abusive relationship is emotionally taxing, and on top of that, we are all living through a serious national trauma. In addition to identifying strategies for promoting physical safety, a safety plan can also include strategies for soothing anxious or scared children, seeking emotional support from trusted contacts, and accessing personal strategies for managing anxiety, such as breathing exercises or guided meditation.

Ultimately a safety plan should include strategies that are easy and accessible to use, and be tailored to that person's individual circumstance and goals. Whether helping a client, family member, or friend create a safety plan, being there as a listening ear and sounding board is critical. All people deserve to be safe in their homes and relationships, and safety plans are often part of a person's pathway to long-term safety.

The Philadelphia Domestic Violence Hotline is open and available 24/7 to assist people seeking services or resources related to domestic violence at 1-866-723-2014. The Women Against Abuse Legal Center is operating remotely and may be reached at 215-686-7082 on weekdays from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. for domestic violence legal assistance. Learn more at https://www.womenagainstabuse.org/

Those seeking help outside of Philadelphia can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 to be connected to local services.

Elizabeth Pride, is the high risk coordinator at the Women Against Abuse Legal Center, where she works with clients who have experienced severe or life-threatening domestic violence. She may be reached at [email protected].