Many professionals describe situations where a child unjustifiably rejects one parent due to the influence of the other parent as a resist-refuse dynamic, or as a parent-child-contact-problem. Such situations may arise during or after divorce. The problem is that the resist-refuse dynamic may have long-lasting negative effects on family function and healthy interaction within the family.

Understanding Resist-Refuse Dynamics

Resist-refuse dynamics describe a situation when a child resists contact with one parent, though the underlying causes for that refusal may stem from more complex circumstances. Key characteristics of resist-refuse dynamics include:

  • A child’s strong alignment with one parent (the preferred parent).
  • Unjustified rejection or denigration of the other parent (the targeted parent).
  • Guilt-free, certainty in the child’s negative characterization of the targeted parent.
  • Applying that negativity to the targeted parent’s extended family and friends.

Recognizing the Signs