Tips for Developing Self-Confidence So You Can Flourish

Last month, I wrote about the rising recognition of emotional intelligence as a key factor in successful leadership using the new movie “Inside Out” to illustrate points about anger and self-management. Now, I turn to “The Sound of Music” for an assist in addressing another competency of emotional intelligence: self-confidence. In the movie, young novice Maria tentatively begins her journey to be governess to seven children. She has no experience and is forced to leave everything she knows. In the song “I Have Confidence,” Maria sets her intention for how to handle the new situation, telling herself that she will stop self-doubting, be firm but kind, face her mistakes, and earn respect, adding that, “While I show them I’ll show me.” The “me” part is key. In this way, Maria employs positive self-talk to overcome her lack of courage, acknowledging that the most critical person in the self-assurance equation is herself. So when she later encounters obstacles—the heavy gates of the mansion she must physically push open, coldness of staff members, pranks played on her by the children and her seemingly cruel new boss—she need only look within for confidence.

“The Sound of Music” turned 50 this year. It is considered one of the most beloved films ever made. There are many reasons, and among them are the central themes of doing the right thing when it’s hard, speaking up for what we believe in when it’s risky, taking responsibility and adapting to strange new environments, as we all do when we move out of the house, get a job, or handle a big case. “I Have Confidence” is a vehicle for moving the character of Maria from scared and intimidated to determined and influential. Throughout the song, she challenges herself by asking questions like, “Why am I so scared?” During the film we see how confidence serves her and everyone else. I have worked with clients struggling with fear and helped them find their “I Have Confidence” moments and mantras. The good news is that self-confidence can be improved through awareness and practice and there are good reasons for attending to it.