Hello? Getting Good on the Phone
Conversation is one of the most basic, seemingly easy human activities. It's easy to do, but not always easy to do well. If you can get better at it, the rewards are essentially unlimited.
June 16, 2020 at 03:15 PM
6 minute read
Thanks to a really nasty little virus, face-to-face interaction with people — colleagues, clients, partners, anyone — has suddenly become a lot harder. You can't have meetings. You can't present. You can't attend conferences, or go out to lunch, or meet for coffee. What can you do? You can email people. You can share content. And you can talk on the phone.
But as is the case with driving, sex, laundry and a lot of other daily human activities, most people aren't actually very good on the phone. I make my living as a copywriter for law firms: I have all the time in the world to arrange the words I use just so. But the phone is a real-time, improvised performance, and you have to select and deliver your words on the spot. The bad news is that this isn't easy. The good news? It's not hard to get a lot better. Here's how:
Script out your voice mails: Around 80% of the time, you're going to end up leaving a voice mail. And few things are worse than voice mails that are mumbled, or full of pauses, or rambling. So before you place the call, think through EXACTLY what you're going to say to that robot voice mail woman. Better yet, write it down, especially if you're calling someone you don't know.
Close your eyes: This is what an old boss of mine used to refer to as a "Cheap Sales Trick," but it's smart, and it's effective. The other person can't see you, phone calls are an exclusively auditory event, and by closing your eyes, you eliminate all distractions and can focus, unimpeded, on your call. Try it.
Know where you're going: The No. 1 rule of professional salespeople who spend all day on the phone is "Never lose control of the call." Know what you want to accomplish and keep a mental eye on where the conversation is going. If it starts to wander too much offtrack, gently nudge it back. Especially when they're tired or bored or distracted, people have an incredible tendency to go off on tangents, which is a waste of time and energy. Pro tip: an excellent way to see this kind of skill in action is to watch a television talk show. Jimmy Kimmel is funny, charming and a little goofy, but he's a total pro, and never loses control of his conversations. Learn from him.
When it's over, it's over: Whether face-to-face or on the phone, most people struggle with gracefully, but definitively, ending conversations. Once the mission has been accomplished, though, letting a phone call drag on is distracting and diffuses the impact of the conversation. Don't let it. Politely, but firmly, end the conversation and get off the phone.
Give it some energy: If you can possibly avoid it, don't make phone calls at the end of the day, or when you're distracted, tired or upset. And work on giving your calls some intensity — humor, enthusiasm, vitality. Your voice is the only instrument you have, remember. People can't see your facial expressions, or riff off your body language. Standing up and pacing around helps sometimes with energy, but if you sound like you're not really engaged, the person on the other end of the call won't be, either.
Listen: This seems obvious and easy, but it's not. In conversations, almost everyone has a tendency to talk about what interests them at the moment rather than responding to what was just said. Make an effort on the phone to listen carefully to exactly what the other person has said and respond specifically to that.
Shut up: This is kind of a corollary to listening, but one of the very best things you can do on the phone is see to it that the other person feels heard. Which means hearing them. Which means talking less, and letting them talk more. Seriously, try on calls to talk 25% less than you're used to, and see what happens.
Ask open-ended questions: Another powerful technique you can use to improve the quality of your telephone work is to ask such questions as "Why do you think that happened?" or "What do you think will happen next?" This isn't always appropriate, but in certain situations, getting the other person to open up a little bit more, simply by talking, can take the discussion into good places. This doesn't mean abandoning control of the conversation, but it does mean giving the conversation some slack.
Personalize it: With some limited exceptions, a great phone conversation is one in which you make a human connection with the person on the other end. To accomplish this, it helps to leaven the discussion with the occasional personal detail or anecdote. Talk about your interests, something noteworthy that happened to you recently, a funny thing your dog did, whatever. But try to avoid making it all business. Efficient, yes, but effective? Maybe not.
Avoid land mines: The converse of having a great conversation is avoiding having a bad one. In other words, steer clear of topics that your opposite number might disagree with, have strong opinions on, or simply find uncomfortable. The obvious ones are, well, obvious: politics, sex, religion. But in addition, never, ever use any kind of obscenity. Be careful not to say anything too harsh, critical or sarcastic about anything, ever. In the cut and thrust of an engaged discussion, it's easy to inadvertently insert your foot into your mouth without even knowing it happened. Make sure it doesn't.
Follow up: Finally, when the conversation is over, use whatever tracking system or CRM setup you have to capture a few quick notes on the discussion, as well as writing down any action items. The conversation may open a door but ensure that you also walk through it later.
It's kind of a paradox. Conversation — talking and listening — is one of the most basic, seemingly easy human activities. It's easy to do, but not always easy to do well. If you can get better at it, the rewards are essentially unlimited. Plus — and this is a real bonus — it's kind of fun. And nothing makes a conversation better than clearly enjoying it. The person you're talking with will know it. And so will you.
Peter Darling has a way with words. He's a writer, a lawyer and business strategist who's been involved on the founding teams of three startups. He can be reached at [email protected].
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