I’m living without a dog right now. We have no yard, and I have neither the discipline nor the knees to walk him when I drag myself out of bed or when I drag myself home from work, so I am temporarily — and I emphasize temporarily — sans dog. If I ever retire, I will walk straight from my office to the pound and remedy this sad situation.

I love dogs. I fully agree with Mark Twain’s assessment that, “If heaven were run on merit, we would stay out and our dogs would go in.” Indeed, all the evidence received in the 140 years or so since Twain’s assessment of heavenly entrance requirements has made it blindingly clear that the few humans who make it in are gonna have a LOT of dogs to walk.

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