William W Bedsworth

March 25, 2005 | Law.com

From a recent Reuters report: "Two women who helped care for a famous gorilla have sued the foundation nurturing Koko, saying they were fired for refusing to show the animal their breasts." Our commentator doesn't know what to call that except gorilla pimping -- and homosexual interspecies gorilla pimping at that (Koko is female). Ponder the implications.

By William W. Bedsworth

9 minute read

July 01, 2011 | The Recorder

China may succeed in owning the entire United States, but persuading young women to stay out of extramarital relationships could pose a bigger challenge.

By William W. Bedsworth

9 minute read

October 29, 2004 | Law.com

Concerned about the outcome of the presidential elections this year, I spent a lot of time investigating the prospects of living somewhere else. Canada was my first choice because they televise hockey pretty much round-the-clock and have no natural predators in the international community. And it turns out the Canadian government is light years ahead of ours. They have instituted a program whereby tattoo artists will be hired to staff prisons and provide tattoos to inmates. Free of cost!

By William W. Bedsworth

10 minute read

March 12, 2004 | Law.com

The smartest, coolest madman on the whole West Coast is dead. And if all the integrity in the state could be had last month for a hundred dollars, you could get it today for $87.50. A large part of our collective conscience has moved on, and he will not easily be replaced. On a personal level, I have lost as good a friend as I ever hope to have.

By William W. Bedsworth

9 minute read

May 15, 2009 | The Recorder

As he packs up his chambers, Justice William Bedsworth sings a farewell serenade to an unconventional courthouse.

By William W. Bedsworth

11 minute read

January 06, 2006 | The Recorder

But read this column anyway.

By William W. Bedsworth

12 minute read

September 23, 2005 | The Recorder

Stuck with a lousy client, an ugly argument, an objectionable outcome? It could be worse.

By William W. Bedsworth

12 minute read

February 26, 2010 | The Recorder

You won't find those popular online videos in Bedsworth's inbox.

By William W. Bedsworth

8 minute read

October 21, 2002 | National Law Journal

When a court needs to refer to the "humans" in the case, guaranteed the opinion will be interesting.

By William W. Bedsworth

10 minute read

March 15, 2001 | Law.com

Today's exorcism by California Justice William W. Bedsworth has to do with interstate commerce, patent law, unfair competition and peanut butter sandwiches. Turns out an Ohio company contends it holds the patent for "crustless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." Yep. Patented. PB&J. You got a license? If not, you better get your kids ready for the idea that Mom and Dad are gonna be doing a stretch at Leavenworth.

By William W. Bedsworth

9 minute read