If you ask someone to list three words that come to mind when they think of divorce, “amicable” most certainly would not be one of them. Although divorce is, by its nature, emotionally draining and financially complex, it does not also have to be highly contentious and litigious. As an attorney practicing exclusively family law, whenever I mention the concept of an amicable divorce to clients, nine times out of 10, people look incredibly surprised. “But wait, I thought the only way to get (fill in the blank) was to go to court?” Most are also surprised to hear that very few family law cases actually proceed to trial and that most are ultimately resolved by a settlement reached between the parties.

Even if the case does not proceed to trial, the manner in which spouses conduct themselves during a divorce proceeding can plague them for many years to come, even long after the divorce is over. If spouses choose to treat each other and the process with contempt that is likely how their relationship will remain post-divorce. If spouses choose to work together toward ending their marriage respectfully, it goes a long way toward creating a cooperative post-divorce environment.

Below are some tips on how to best work together with your spouse to achieve an amicable divorce: