The initial choice a prospective client must make after deciding to pursue a divorce is the process that she or he will use to address decision-making related to child custody, property distribution and cashflow (child support, spousal support, temporary alimony and alimony). The four basic family law process options currently available are kitchen table or pro se negotiations, mediation, litigation/arbitration, and collaborative law. There are many variations of each of the foregoing options, but for simplicity each will be considered in its basic form.

Prospective clients come to the initial divorce consultation with a variety of questions and goals, most of which focus on gaining a basic understanding of the procedures and law related to the specific issues she or he has identified as most relevant to the circumstances. Often clients are not aware that there are divorce process option choices. It is our responsibility to sufficiently understand the options to enable us to communicate them to the client as a first step in our role as legal counselor.

In the kitchen table process, the unrepresented parties negotiate and resolve the terms of their separation and divorce based on their personal standards of fairness rather than legal rules or guidelines. They may file documents pro se or obtain legal assistance for this limited purpose. Potential benefits of this process include avoidance of costs other than filing fees, maintaining privacy and control over decision-making, and the ability to combine and consider issues which are typically separated in or excluded from the legal system, such as the isolation of child support calculations from property distribution or the practical exclusion of marital misconduct from property distribution or custody. Disadvantages include the high level of interaction between the parties without guidance or safeguards, communication barriers, potential power imbalances and lack of information concerning legal rights or obligations.